Every morning when I go down to my kitchen I find the centre of the floor is always wet. No drips from the ceiling, no leaks from the taps, nothing knocked over, nobody lives with me so no tricksters. Doesn't taste like piss either so I'm not sleep pissing in my own kitchen. No reasonable explanation as to why this keeps happening. Fucked if I know

Feel free to throw in the odd suggestions as to what might be causing it as you hilariously reel off the best of your one-liners yet again, and again, and again ... ad nauseam.

And don't feel too bad if you don't have an answer, I really don't care. I'm just doing my civil duty by adding more stupid to this ever growing mountain of retardation.