THE WHY`S of MEN !!

[carlos marvado]

This is the transcript of the actual radio of a british naval ship and the Irish,off the coast of Kerry in oct 95


Irish; Please divert your couse 15 degrees South,to avoid a collision.

British; Recommend you divert your couse 15 degrees North,to avoid collision.

Irish; Negative;You will have to divert your course 15 degrees South,to avoid collision.

British; This is the captain of a british navy ship.I say again divert your course.

Irish: Negative.I say again you will have to divert your course.

British; This is the aircraft carrier HMS Invincible.The second largest ship in the Atlantic fleet,we are accompanied by three destroyers,two missile cruisers and numerous support vessels.I demand that you changed your couse 15 degrees North,or counter measures will be taken to undertake that safety of this ship.

Irish; We are a lighthouse;Your call

Yep, heard that one about ten years ago. At that time the ship was the USS John F. Kennedy.

[Hot Lizzy]

Liz, I think Tiffany's and Emerald Warriors jokes are better than yours.

Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spreadeagled & says "You know what I want dont you?"

"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!"

[Hot Lizzy]

Yep, heard that one about ten years ago. At that time the ship was the USS John F. Kennedy.

An Irishman is rowing his boat in a field of hay. Paddy drives past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts "Its thick c**ts like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick the f**k out of you if I could swim!"

[Hot Lizzy]

A little guy was sitting next to a big guy in a pub and asks " you wanna hear a good english joke?. The big guy frowned and answered "i just happen to be english,see those two big guys at the bar they are english and see the big bartender at he also is english.Do you still want to tell your english joke buddy? "Nope" sez the little guy. "why you scared we will beat the crap outta you,you know we are infamous all over the world for bar room brawls,our football fans been banned for fighting,riot police tool up when they hear us english are comming to town ,still want to tell your english joke. "I said no" sez little guy "i just dont want to have to explian the punchline four times"

Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbours dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says "To hell with this!" & storms off.

He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks "What did you do?"

Paddy replies "Ive put the dog in our garden, lets see how they like it!"

[TiffanyTees]

HEY UP FOLKS PLEASED YOU ENJOYED MY JOKE and IT BRIGHTENED UP YOUR DAY

Love n Licks
cheerful Tiff ( o )( o )Xx

[funtimes]

I am not offended, just some not so good but I admit the eletric chair one was funny.

[Hot Lizzy]

Yep, heard that one about ten years ago. At that time the ship was the USS John F. Kennedy.

An Irishman is shagging a Jewish girl & says "You're not very tight for a Jew!"

She says "Well you're not very thick for a Paddy!"

[Hot Lizzy]

I am not offended, just some not so good but I admit the eletric chair one was funny.

A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy odered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.

He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"

Paddy handed his drink back & said "Me too, I didnt know we had a choice!"

[Hot Lizzy]

HEY UP FOLKS PLEASED YOU ENJOYED MY JOKE and IT BRIGHTENED UP YOUR DAY

Love n Licks
cheerful Tiff ( o )( o )Xx

Q. Whats a Catholic priest & a pint of Guiness got in common?

A. black coat, white collar & you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one!

[Hot Lizzy]

I am not offended, just some not so good but I admit the eletric chair one was funny.

Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whos head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her. A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said "I dont think thats her, she wasnt that tall!"


TOLD YOU I DID HAVE A LOT OF JOKES!!!!!!!!!