I have just one question to all the self-righteous tight-arsed motherf***ing sex knockers currently jumping up and down in various media and elsewhere and doing a very fine impression of the Saudi morality police:
Were your mothers all inseminated by the A I man?
QPH, you being an agricultural type, can you inform me whether it is technically possible that some of these people have been cloned by some right-wing organisation affiliated to a major church in order to spread misery and discontent amongst decent sex loving heathens? St. Patrick has a lot to answer for, but fear not, I'm setting the dial on the time machine to the 5th century, and I promise to bring back some snakes in time for the E-I Summer Bar-B-Q. You can eat them, or do whatever else with them according to your individual tastes. I think Ric Flair missed out on that particular perversion in his poll.
As to the security arrangements. Indeed Westies' dog would make an excellent choice. I suggest that he start training it immediately to recognise media hacks. I d'ont know what breed it is. But German Shepherds instinctively grab you by the arm, whereas other breeds go for the legs or throat. I would suggest some special training in this case, focussing on the crotch area. Westies' mutt could make it into the SAS with the proper training.
As for Flyshit, I suspect that his hour has finally come too. Let him buzz around the perimeter emitting his famous jajajajajajaja distress call, and even the most dedicated paparazzi will run for the hills.