Rejection

[ChunkyJoe]

1 2 3 deep breath... 4 5 6.. deep breath... 7 8 9 10.. walking away....

[Clyde]

Dave buddy .... You have to love yourself first, that might sound a bit selfish but no, if you don't love yourself first how can you love others around you? I mean you have to give off that aura that your confident etc and when your rejected try to lift your head above it and move on. I know I had the ultimate rejection thrown at me a few times and wow does it hurt big time but I can't let it get me down, be strong Dave ......

[Westsidex]

How do you deal with it? It happens to us all at sometime, from childhood to adulthood as you sit in the background while others bask in the limelight they so crave.In love and relationships it really hurts when your love is thrown back at you but what do you do, pick yourself up and try again? Or not being part of the group/clique, having people snigger behind your back as you walk by, being left out of things, forgotten about! Or the countless job applications you answer but alas, More Rejection You put on a brave face and keep going in the hope it will get better. Another long Bank Holiday looms again......... Groundhog Day. What is your breaking point and how much is enough?

I always find these type of threads interesting in that it usually shows that a lot of people feel they arent worthy enough to be in some part of a clique or they need to change or resign themselves to a life of misery but they are missing one important thing. Failure or rejection or whatever the hell else its called is what actually builds a persons character ,unique to everyone else. We are all different so instead of trying to be part of the flock ,we should instead embrace our differences.

I will give you a few examples of people who got rejected in life,

Thomas Edisons teachers said he was too stupid to learn anything.
Albert Einstein was expelled and refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School and was called mentally slow.
Louis Pasteur ranked 15 out of 20 in chemistry.
Issac Newton was very poor at maths in school.
Rodins father said he had an idiot for a son.
Edmund Hillary failed several times before he conquered Everest.
Wilma Rudolph couldnt walk properly due to a paralyzed left leg but went on to win three Olympic medals.
Vince Lombardi was said to have minimal football knowledge.
Michael Jordan was cut and refused entry on the team dozens of times.
Mike Tyson was beaten several times as an amutuer
Abraham Lincoln failed to be elected something like 16 times.
Greg Lemond won Tour De France despite having half his body filled with shotgun pellets that docs couldnt remove.
Dave Dravecky returned to baseball despite losing half his shoulder (on his pitching arm) to cancer.
Lester Levenson was told he had two weeks to live at age 42 and died 42 years later.
Norman Cousins was similar.


These are just a few egs of people who got rejected. Im sure you heard of some of them. The point is what if they accepted these rejections? Yet all over the world people suffer and feel bad ,based on others or another's opinion of them. Thats all it is.
I knew a guy who dated lots of women yet he was rejected tons of times. You see he might ask 100 and date 20. I could give you a few personal egs here but I cant as i would have to go into my private life a bit too much for my liking.

As far as your breaking point goes , its simple really. You decide where it is. Remember one very very important thing. People can reject you but its up to you to accept and feel rejected or to use it as motivation. Another thing and I can guarantee this, a lot of these so called confident people arent all that confident at all as they know how to mask their true feelings behind the exterior.

So at the end of the day you can be like Einstein who turned out to be a very foolish person or you can reject rejection. the choice is yours and yours alone and I know , life isnt easy at times but its hard times is what should build a person. Good times do very little for people at times.

sincerely,
Westside.

[jay67]

ive had my share of rejection too,the dark thoughts,the down's.....but what doesnt kill you makes you stronger!

jay67

[Dublad77]

Reject the rejecter's ,chin up ,march on.
I used to be obsessed with what other people thought of me to the point of paranoia.I was convinced that everybody had more or better friends than I had but as I grew older (mid 30's now) I began to realise what a waste of time this was and now I couldn't give a flying fuck what you think of me.you get what you get and if ya don't like it ..that's your problem.I think once a individual reaches this point they begin to like and appreciate who they are.because remember you can't change who you are.And if you think someone is sniggering behind you back well don't give that person another thought not for a second.And as for not being part of the clique well that just means that that clique wasn't good enough for YOU not the other way around.

Onwards and upwards,grab the world by the balls.

[doodlebug]

I can only control how one person feels that is me. I cannot make others love/like/want me so I don't worry about it. When it comes it is nice but I have no control over it no matter how hard I think about it, cry about it etc. So what's the answer, learn to control how you feel not how others make you feel. We all have a myriad of emotions about others and ourselves, there are various fancy names for them but they all boil down to how I feel. When you accept that you cannot affect how others feel and work on disconnecting how they make you feel with your feelings for yourself you will be able to move on. All of this sounds great in theory but is much more difficult to achieve in reality, so you have to force it, initially when you feel rejection, you have to force yourself to smile and say "their loss". After a time this becomes easy and you do start to believe it and at the end of the day it is. You are still you and you and you are getting on with life. Keep the chin up and remember to quote an old cliche, "every dog has its day".

[Westsidex]

All of this sounds great in theory but is much more difficult to achieve in reality, so you have to force it, initially when you feel rejection, you have to force yourself to smile and say "their loss".

So dont be theoretical about it. The one thing I find that makes a big difference is having goals, applicable to yourself and a plan to achieve them and developing an all embracive lifestyle based on that plan. In other words focus. Then rejection doesnt matter so much because your road , the one that you want to follow is whats important and the source of the rejection obviously isnt applicable to it. If the rejection is part of the plan then use it as a tool to both learn from and to make you better at whatever the issue is.

Sincerely,
Westside.

[doodlebug]

So dont be theoretical about it. The one thing I find that makes a big difference is having goals, applicable to yourself and a plan to achieve them and developing an all embracive lifestyle based on that plan. In other words focus. Then rejection doesnt matter so much because your road , the one that you want to follow is whats important and the source of the rejection obviously isnt applicable to it. If the rejection is part of the plan then use it as a tool to both learn from and to make you better at whatever the issue is.

Sincerely,
Westside.

I wasn't being theoretical, merely pointing out that it is in practice harder to do than in theory, not however impossible. Thats all.

[Curvaceous Kate]

How do you deal with it? It happens to us all at sometime, from childhood to adulthood as you sit in the background while others bask in the limelight they so crave.In love and relationships it really hurts when your love is thrown back at you but what do you do, pick yourself up and try again? Or not being part of the group/clique, having people snigger behind your back as you walk by, being left out of things, forgotten about! Or the countless job applications you answer but alas, More Rejection You put on a brave face and keep going in the hope it will get better. Another long Bank Holiday looms again......... Groundhog Day. What is your breaking point and how much is enough?

Things have changed. We are living in an economic nightmare and this means that you have become not one of the minority, but one of the majority. I have been told of many things that people do when sifting through applications to help them get through them quicker. Such as the colour of the pen. If it is blue, it gets chucked in the bin. If there is bad grammar and punctuation, chuck it in the bin, if there is heavy use of slang or bad spelling, chuck it in the bin and any typo's and it's out. You have to present yourself in the best light ever.

Also, there are people applying for jobs that a decade ago would have got someone who had left school with a few decent GCSE's (or whatever your equivalent is) and they would be ideal for the job, but now they can take their pick from the cream and offer them the same rate of pay as before. This means that in some cases you are up against an impossible situation that you just can't compete with or you are having to lower your standards in order to get a job, that you had originally never wanted.

It's best not to take it personally, but look for something that can make you stand out. Often when there is little difference in ability, they move on to the area of personality and why you want to work for them. Make it good, make it stand out and do your research into the company. Know who they are, where they came from and where they are going and have ambition.

In life... that's a different matter. No one is better than you and if they are trying to make you look small, it's because they feel inadequate. It means they see you as a threat or they can not understand difference, which in my mind makes them a lesser person and a closed book. It's called ignorance. Don't give them the time of day, as they don't deserve it and certainly don't deserve to affect your mood.

Relationships... we are complex creatures and finding the perfect partner is near impossible, so it is only natural that we are going to make some mistakes through life and find ourselves with people that are not exactly right for us, although they tick a lot of the boxes. The problems arise when the unticked boxes become a focal point for one or both partners and sometimes it becomes more important than first considered. It's best to put it down to experience and try not to repeat the same mistakes, learn from the life you lead and use it to make the life you have now a better one.

People can only hurt you if you let them!

[lazarus]

@gentelmandave
Fear leads to anger. ... You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere,....you must feel the Force and don't underestimate the power of the 'dark side' .. and the stupidity !

so go your way young gentelmandave may the Force be with you ;-)