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Thread: Ladies, Men and Farting!

  1. #1
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    Default Ladies, Men and Farting!

    After my wife told me the following joke, I started to wonder if she was trying to tell me something!


    This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
    years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

    The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

    Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
    and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, as she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

    The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

    She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
    back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
    the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

    The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
    laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

    About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
    bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

    She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
    and I didn't listen to you.

    "What do you mean?" asked his wife.

    "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

  2. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Sam Spade For This Useful Post:

    benin (29-03-12), dr love (29-03-12), emmasweet (29-03-12), EnglishAlex (29-03-12), jstrap (29-03-12), Escort AdvertiserLisa007 (29-03-12), madjack (29-03-12), max california (29-03-12), very shy guy (02-04-12), wolfie (29-03-12)

  3. #2
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    Pmsl !!!!!!

    Ohhhh the vengeful mind of a woman .: doc
    Never mistake kindness for weakness .: doc

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to dr love For This Useful Post:

    Sam Spade (29-03-12)

  5. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by dr love View Post
    Pmsl !!!!!!

    Ohhhh the vengeful mind of a woman .: doc
    Ah, but we love them really (ok, I'm a groveller).

  6. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sam Spade View Post
    Ah, but we love them really (ok, I'm a groveller).
    Nahh not a groveller Sam , more a realist I would think bro .: lol
    Never mistake kindness for weakness .: doc

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to dr love For This Useful Post:

    Sam Spade (29-03-12)

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