E-I March Competition

[itstimenow]

the fact i one a comp already it may go against me when choosing the winner

ahh i bet somebody will have a last minute trick up there sleeve lol like you haha

[magicalman9357]

the fact i one a comp already it may go against me when choosing the winner

Won't make any difference at all itstimenow.

[rover]

Inerview No. 69 with Escort Swallowdecum.

Interviewer: Are you in this line of business because of the money?

Swallowdecum: No, not at all, I'm just mad about cock, the money is a bonus.




Inerviewer: What size is the biggest dick you've ever cum across so far in your career?

Swallowdecum: 14 inches, it was Rover's cock.



Interviewer: What is the dirtiest thing you have ever done to a man?

Swallowdecum: Washed Rover's feet, when he takes his socks off.



Interviewer: Do you ever reach any genuine orgasms?

Swallowdecum: No, not many, but I explode almost immediately when Rover drops his trousers.



Interviewer: How do you dispose of all the used condoms?

Swallowdecum: Well, when the client has left, I discreetly add a drop of vodka into the condom, then a cherry and then knock it back like you would an oyster.



Interviewer: What's the oldest client you have ever had?

Swallowdecum: It's Rover again, 104 years old.



Interviewer: How often do you change the bed linen?

Swallowdecum: Well I have a passion for strict hygeine and put a fresh set of bed linen on after every 15 clients.



Interviwer: Have you ever had many troublesome clients.

Swallowdecum: Only Rover, he huffs and curses when he's trying to get his massive dick into his trousers.

[/I]

Interviewer: What's the easiest session you have ever had with a client.

Swallowdecum: The easiest time I've ever had is with Rover, he takes up most of the hour trying to get a hard on.



Interviewer: Finally, do you ever cum across many time wasters?

Swallowdecum: Only Rover, he's a total waste of time, still e250 is e250.

[mickeyman]

My entry has more than 10 questions ( 12 I think ) do I still qualify.? Also as Im' entering from a mobile my entry may appear in two posts . Would this be acceptable.?

[magicalman9357]

My entry has more than 10 questions ( 12 I think ) do I still qualify.? Also as Im' entering from a mobile my entry may appear in two posts . Would this be acceptable.?

Unfortunately a maximum of 10 questions is required Mickeyman and yes it's fine to enter using two posts.

[mickeyman]

This is a review conducted between leading punter and sex journalist Mickeyman and Xxxtra Mature Mary . One of Irelands oldest and most experienced service providers. She has toured extensively and recently celebrated her 50th year as an Escort. Mary claims to have slept with 85,000 men and includes former Politicians and Bishops in her long line of conquests.She is the author of the best seller "around the world in 80 lays.
Mickeyman : I'm very pleased to meet you Mary.
Mary: Yeah,I noticed that before you crossed your legs.
Mickeyman : Were you always an Escort ?
At one stage I took a career break and went to work for E-I as a mod.
Mickeyman : What happened to make you leave ?
Mary: Actually I was fired for not reaching my targets.
Mickeyman : Targets ? Please explain.
Mary: We were expected to ban at least five punters a day,but I had'nt the heart to do it.They were all so nice.
Any other reasons why you left ,Mary ?
Mary : Some of the other mods were disgusting. One of them left green slimey stains everywhere ,including the ladies toilet. He was always in there. Another one of them was always spying on me through the keyhole. Then there was the background music which was supposed to motivate us .They played songs like Banned on the run , I,m a one man banned , Another one bites the dust . Good bye my love goodbye .etc.
Mickeyman : Mary , what was you're weirdest ever sex position ?
Mary : Well I did it once hanging from the ceiling with a Kerryman called Sean D'Olier.
Mickeyman : Ever tried Cunnilingus ?
Mary: No. I always fly with Ryanair. They're much cheaper, although I hate the baggage restrictions.
Mickeyman : What's your opinion on STD 's ?
Mary: Never use them. Much too messy, I prefer Tampax even though they're dearer.

[mickeyman]

Mickeyman : Are you up to speed with modern technology Mary ? You know ,I phones , mp 4, e-mail, etc. ?
Mary : No not at all . I still have all my old 78 records and bring my record player on tour .
Mickeyman (thinking to self) So that's how she got the job with E-I.
Mickeyman : We're here in the Rising Cock Hotel ,your local I believe ,Do you come here a lot ?
Mary: Yes, its my local, but I never come here. It would'nt be fair on the other customers, leaving the seats all wet and sticky.
Mickeyman : Have you a rabbit to keep you amused when you're down the country ?
Mary: No, I have no pets at all,its too much bother trying to look after them away from home. I pass away the time chatting with timewasters .Sometimes they go on for hours and the talk can get very dirty indeed ,if you follow my drift
Mickeyman : Do you like Fellatio ?
Mary: Im not into those modern pop stars at all. I much prefer Elvis or Cliff.
Mickeyman : Do you do OWO at all?
Mary : Yes, its amazing how many men ask me to take out my dentures , especially the younger ones.
Mickeyman :Thanks again for your time Mary, it was most enlightening
Mary: Glad you liked it. Now , do you want me to take care of that bulge for you , If we go to the car park its an outcall or I can do it under the table here for Twenty.
Mickeyman : All I have is a tenner .
Mary : You men are all the same ,always haggling , hold on while I slip my false teeth into your glass..........Slurp Slurp Slurp .........Oh baby yes yes.
..
Hope I,m still here in the morning.! Mickeyman.

[magicalman9357]

The Competition is now closed. Thank you for your entries and Good Luck Everyone.

[magicalman9357]

Due to the lack of interest in the March Competition there will be no winning selection.

Thanks very much to those of you who took the time and effort to participate and sorry for any inconvenience.

[itstimenow]

i personally think that mers entry was so damn crazy and good it kinda put people off tryin to better it. i myself just couldnt match it and found myself just copying his idea.
sorry mer for not entering as i feel ive cost you now

Due to the lack of interest in the March Competition there will be no winning selection.

Thanks very much to those of you who took the time and effort to participate and sorry for any inconvenience.