So...need a diversion?

[Lucy Chambers]

You killed a guy while fingering his arse? Is pinkie code for fire extinguisher?


Dear god let this be a hypothetical question

No!
That reminds me of a funny story though, My friend and I were doing a duo and she had to pee in the guys mouth. He coughed and spluttered and jumped up and ran to the window, clutching his chest. I went as white as a sheet as I grappled him to the bed. Turned out she had been on the vodka the night before

[ChiefHandker]

No!
That reminds me of a funny story though, My friend and I were doing a duo and she had to pee in the guys mouth. He coughed and spluttered and jumped up and ran to the window, clutching his chest. I went as white as a sheet as I grappled him to the bed. Turned out she had been on the vodka the night before

Pissed vodka in his face you say? I thanked you for your useful post but i'm not sure why. It was almost as delightful as your story with the two pugs

[Lucy Chambers]

Pissed vodka in his face you say? I thanked you for your useful post but i'm not sure why. It was almost as delightful as your story with the two pugs

No, no coke. She used to decant into Evian bottles

I have had a very arduous past. I'm amazed i'm not in therapy

[wakka]

No, no coke. She used to decant into Evian bottles

I have had a very arduous past. I'm amazed i'm not in therapy

U mean u're not in therapy??? oh god help us...or me for that matter lol

[Julius Caesar]

What's the problem i thought you girls liked a good stiffy and chocolate fingers to dip into your tea........

[emmasweet]

Check pulse, breathing mouth to mouth resuscitation if necessary, search the pockets in the hope that is nitroglycerin, sugar water and recover if open window.
If it's dead I put it lift

[saoirsemac]

Ladies, a client dies mid flow. Sudden heart attack, with your pinkie up his ass. You are alone, no one near by and he is sixteen stone and naked. What do you do next?

Gentlemen...what would you like us to do next?

ud want to be careful with ur fingers as a sudden heartattack cud cause the sphicter muscels to contract
and causing ur finger to lodge in the rectum

not a pleasent image when the paramedics come in to dislodge u

[Lucy Chambers]

ud want to be careful with ur fingers as a sudden heartattack cud cause the sphicter muscels to contract
and causing ur finger to lodge in the rectum

not a pleasent image when the paramedics come in to dislodge u

Ok, smartass, but answer the question already! What would you do?? And how the feck are you going to know that someone might die when you stick the finger up?

[saoirsemac]

Ok, smartass, but answer the question already! What would you do?? And how the feck are you going to know that someone might die when you stick the finger up?

i wud remove my finger and check his pulse maybe try to start some cpr
contact the paramedics ask for a cardic ambulance
i wud then continue to do cpr 30 rep with 2 breaths

if it was an outcall id also contact the hotel reception inform them off the situation and ask if they had defibilator
inform them im trained to operate it if they have it and get up the room asap

incall i wud continue cpr to at least keep the heart shaking so that if a cardic driver ie the motorbike guy reaches me in under 10min he may slap on the defibs guy hopefully surivces and im due a massive mother fucking tip

also give as much info without outing myself and wave him off in ambulance
and if its incall i wud then look up daft.ie and move


ps most people show signs of a heart attack prior to heart attack pain down the left hand cold and clamy skin dizzyness etc if this was the case i wud offer my client a disprin tablet to thin the blood and ring a taxi to the nearest hosiptal!
sudden cardic arest shows signs of difficulty to take in air red to blue face!!


why dear as a client died on ur bed?
ooo i forgot change ur sheets people after heart attack and death can actualy empty there bowels when the muscel relax or infact during the heart attack

[Lucy Chambers]

i wud remove my finger and check his pulse maybe try to start some cpr
contact the paramedics ask for a cardic ambulance
i wud then continue to do cpr 30 rep with 2 breaths

if it was an outcall id also contact the hotel reception inform them off the situation and ask if they had defibilator
inform them im trained to operate it if they have it and get up the room asap

incall i wud continue cpr to at least keep the heart shaking so that if a cardic driver ie the motorbike guy reaches me in under 10min he may slap on the defibs guy hopefully surivces and im due a massive mother fucking tip

also give as much info without outing myself and wave him off in ambulance
and if its incall i wud then look up daft.ie and move

You are forgetting


Responding guard to the death
the statement of movement
and er...


the naked bit


Im going for the therapeautic massage defence personally. In a very hot apartment.