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Thread: stupid warnings on packets

  1. #1
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    Apr 2011
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    Default stupid warnings on packets

    Today I bought a packet of salted nuts. On the pack it said "Warning, may contain nuts." Well I would be pretty disappointed if I opened it up and a fucking sock fell out!!

    and also i was eating a halloween brack it had no sign to say that there was a ring somewhere in it, and i nearly broke me fucking tooth with the ring

    they put warning signs on the most ridicoulsly packets and not on something that ya read not that i read the packets anyway im just 1 hungry mutta fukka lol

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  3. #2
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    Default

    Sleeping tablets: May cause drowsiness.

    You'd hope so wouldn't you, given the name an all that
    He felt her hands slide slowly up his thigh, he couldn't stop himself from growing hard. She caught his eye and in that second he knew: This erotic, sensual Lady is bold if she is anything. She would be upto mischief in no time...
    Some things never change

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  5. #3
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    Default

    condoms are not 100% safe as if you put them on the wrong head you will soon find out why

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  7. #4
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    Default

    ladiesman217: April 2009 to April 2024

    Goodbye

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  9. #5
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    Default

    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

    On Sears hair dryer:
    Do not use while sleeping.

    On a bag of Fritos:
    You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

    On a bar of Dial soap:
    Directions: Use like regular soap.

    On some Swanson frozen dinners:
    Serving suggestions: Defrost.

    Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
    Do not turn upside down.

    On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
    Product will be hot after heating.

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
    Do not iron clothes on body.

    On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
    Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.

    On Nytol Sleep Aid:
    Warning: May cause drowsiness.

    On most brands of Christmas lights:
    For indoor or outdoor use only.

    On a Japanese food processor:
    Not to be used for the other use.

    On Sainsbury's peanuts:
    Warning: Contains nuts.

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

    On a child's Superman costume:
    Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

    On a Swedish chain saw:
    Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

    On a toboggan:
    Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.

    On a knife sharpener:
    Caution: knives are sharp.

    On shin pads for cyclists:
    Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

    On a take away coffee cup:
    Caution: Hot beverages are hot.

    Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
    In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.

    In a microwave oven manual:
    Do not use for drying pets.

    On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
    Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.

    On the bottom of a cola bottle:
    Do not open here.

    On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
    This broom does not actually fly.

    On a box of aspirin:
    Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

    On a bottle of laundry detergent:
    Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

    On a muffin packet:
    Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

    In a kettle instruction manual:
    The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.

    On a ketchup bottle:
    Instructions: Put on food.

    On a bottle of rum:
    Open bottle before drinking.

    A car park sign:
    Entrance only. Do not enter.

    A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
    Beware of people.

    Rules on a tram in Prague:
    Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.

    Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
    Take care: new non-slip surface.

    On a can of air freshener:
    For use by trained personnel only.

    On a bottle of baby lotion:
    Keep away from children.

    On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
    Do not wash.

    On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
    Some assembly required.

    On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
    May irritate eyes.

    On a Frisbee:
    Warning: may contain small parts.

    In a car handbook:
    In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.

    On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
    Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.

    Directions for mosquito repellant:
    Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.

    On a birthday card for a one year old:
    Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

    In a hotel bedroom:
    Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

    In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
    Push this button in case anything happens.

    On a toilet cleaning brush:
    Do not use orally.

    On a can of Spray paint:
    Do not spray in your face.

    On a TV remote:
    Not Dishwasher safe.

    On a blowtorch:
    Not used for drying hair.

    On a washing machine inn a launderette:
    No small children.

    On a bottle of hair dye:
    Do not use as Ice Cream topping.

    On a push along lawn mower:
    Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.

    On a box of fireworks:
    Do not put in mouth.

    On the packaging for a wrist watch:
    Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.

    In a dishwasher manual:
    Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

    On a toaster:
    Do not use underwater.

    On a mattress:
    Do not attempt to swallow.


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  11. #6
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ladiesman217 View Post
    So ?? That just means you can't be wearing a shirt while ironing the thing in the picture, whatever it is .....

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    Default




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  15. #8
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    Jun 2011
    Posts
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by 69patrick69 View Post
    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

    On Sears hair dryer:
    Do not use while sleeping.

    On a bag of Fritos:
    You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

    On a bar of Dial soap:
    Directions: Use like regular soap.

    On some Swanson frozen dinners:
    Serving suggestions: Defrost.

    Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
    Do not turn upside down.

    On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
    Product will be hot after heating.

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
    Do not iron clothes on body.

    On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
    Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.

    On Nytol Sleep Aid:
    Warning: May cause drowsiness.

    On most brands of Christmas lights:
    For indoor or outdoor use only.

    On a Japanese food processor:
    Not to be used for the other use.

    On Sainsbury's peanuts:
    Warning: Contains nuts.

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

    On a child's Superman costume:
    Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

    On a Swedish chain saw:
    Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

    On a toboggan:
    Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.

    On a knife sharpener:
    Caution: knives are sharp.

    On shin pads for cyclists:
    Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

    On a take away coffee cup:
    Caution: Hot beverages are hot.

    Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
    In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill quickly.

    In a microwave oven manual:
    Do not use for drying pets.

    On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
    Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.

    On the bottom of a cola bottle:
    Do not open here.

    On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
    This broom does not actually fly.

    On a box of aspirin:
    Do not take if allergic to aspirin.

    On a bottle of laundry detergent:
    Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.

    On a muffin packet:
    Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

    In a kettle instruction manual:
    The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON' position.

    On a ketchup bottle:
    Instructions: Put on food.

    On a bottle of rum:
    Open bottle before drinking.

    A car park sign:
    Entrance only. Do not enter.

    A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
    Beware of people.

    Rules on a tram in Prague:
    Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.

    Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
    Take care: new non-slip surface.

    On a can of air freshener:
    For use by trained personnel only.

    On a bottle of baby lotion:
    Keep away from children.

    On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
    Do not wash.

    On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
    Some assembly required.

    On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
    May irritate eyes.

    On a Frisbee:
    Warning: may contain small parts.

    In a car handbook:
    In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close doors.

    On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
    Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.

    Directions for mosquito repellant:
    Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.

    On a birthday card for a one year old:
    Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.

    In a hotel bedroom:
    Please do not turn on TV except when in use.

    In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
    Push this button in case anything happens.

    On a toilet cleaning brush:
    Do not use orally.

    On a can of Spray paint:
    Do not spray in your face.

    On a TV remote:
    Not Dishwasher safe.

    On a blowtorch:
    Not used for drying hair.

    On a washing machine inn a launderette:
    No small children.

    On a bottle of hair dye:
    Do not use as Ice Cream topping.

    On a push along lawn mower:
    Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.

    On a box of fireworks:
    Do not put in mouth.

    On the packaging for a wrist watch:
    Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.

    In a dishwasher manual:
    Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

    On a toaster:
    Do not use underwater.

    On a mattress:
    Do not attempt to swallow.
    WOooww...a lots of information....
    Have the courage to say YES!Have the courage to say NO!And in every moment difficult..To be always the same YOU!Knowing how to think when others deceive you!
    0867340967

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    mer (27-10-11)

  17. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    2,836

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Christine View Post
    WOooww...a lots of information....
    Google was his friend
    He felt her hands slide slowly up his thigh, he couldn't stop himself from growing hard. She caught his eye and in that second he knew: This erotic, sensual Lady is bold if she is anything. She would be upto mischief in no time...
    Some things never change

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to EnglishAlex For This Useful Post:

    mer (27-10-11)

  19. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    7,659
    Reviews
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EnglishAlex View Post
    Google was his friend
    and alex butter was my freind lol i should come with a warning sign alex, saying "warning i may explode" lol
    Last edited by mer; 27-10-11 at 22:17.

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