I like many have had good,average and some bad(two) encounters in my punting life . Like anything we do in life we are always trying to surpass that last "high" that punting gives us. For a while now most encounters have been pretty much the same....... Although very enjoyable nothing really mind-blowing .
I have always said that punting for me was clear and non emotional! I may have sounded arrogant or cocky to some when I said stuff like "fucky fucky time" or " put my mickey in" but it was always meant in a tongue in chek way.
I have no illusions in relation to this being a business and because of that I am somewhat sceptical/cold about how or what a lady does or says during an appointment . I don't mean that in s negative way towards the ladies nut more so as a self observation.
Now with that said I have truly enjoyed the time I spent in each ladies company for one reasson or another and that is purely down to the testament and truly amazing ladies that I consider myself privileged to have shared those special moments with.
As many may know I have been doing this for a while now and although over the years I have had truly mind blowing encounters,I now find myself standing elated , lost, confused and fulfilled ! But with a truly horrible horrible feeling of emptiness as I know I will never have that "holy grail" for myself.
After many years searching for that one true moment of both emotional and sexual happiness and just that feeling of pure elation ! The life is great moment! The perfect feeling,the eurica moment, Whatever you call it ?
Having found that and realising it will never be truly mine nor can it ever be surpassed I wonder is there a point in pursuing the "holy grail" when I have already found it!
It's strange to realise that after all the bullshit! all the cockiness ! All the money in the world! I will never truly have what I have realised is the only one true thing in this world that I want
but know I will and can never have.
Did I fall in love? Maybe
Regardless I find myself now wondering? Is it better to have spent atleast a moment in time with that angel! And forever know I will live my life without her!
Or would it have been better to never have known she existed ? Avoiding tht sad feeling that mow grips me.