Why bother

[ksteve]

I think you are confusing punting with having an emotional and sexual affair.... punting is about sex (for most of us anyway). There is a lot more to marriage than sex alone and just because someone punts doesn't mean they are not happy at home. Maybe just one of the elements is lacking but no mariage is perfect.

I'm a bad person, but I can deal with that.

Absolutely correct.

[Franken996]

I think you are taking the whole thing far too seriously. When it comes to visiting escorts I doubt many married men think deeply about the questions you ask.

KS- you're spot on...but something ahem.. tells me the OP arose from a very different place!

[sperminater]

Now folks just to set the record straight I'm not having a go at anyone in the post it was a bit of a rant but I think it's an interesting question some guys have issues at home that can't be helped and some guys find it no problem whatsoever but there is that guilt factor of hurt and pain that can be caused not only to others but to yourself but by the answers and pms it seems to be man are looking for a buzz a fix a fantasy a risk that we can keep to ourselfs. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[skywalker85]

Now folks just to set the record straight I'm not having a go at anyone in the post it was a bit of a rant but I think it's an interesting question some guys have issues at home that can't be helped and some guys find it no problem whatsoever but there is that guilt factor of hurt and pain that can be caused not only to others but to yourself but by the answers and pms it seems to be man are looking for a buzz a fix a fantasy a risk that we can keep to ourselfs. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Il answer that if i ever get married or attached which is very unlikely for marriage, seems harder to walk away from like signing your soul to the devil

And many married guys i work with tell me never to get married, as i can see why as they always looks stressed or in deep depression.

Why would one want to ruin their happiness haha

Dont Worry be happy

[doodlebug]

As an infrequent punter, for me it's purely a release of tension. Yes, I am in a relationship, and yes, she does know about what I do.

You see, it's a huge generalisation to say that your relationship is fucked just because you punt. I can only speak for myself, but I am not monogamous by nature, and I'm mature enough to know my own mind. I seem to have a nature that doesn't handle monogamy very well, and that goes back to evolution, spreading your genes and all of that. Escorting provides an infrequent relief for me to do that, and as it's a business transaction, no relationship of a romantic nature occurs. The monogamous stereotype everyone seems to follow is, remember, a social stigma, so if those involved aren't getting hurt, how is the relationship fucked?

My SO asks how I got on, and if I learned anything. She asks me if the escort was pretty, and even joined me on a couple of occasions, although not in this country. She knows I love her, but that variety is the spice of life. Just because you desire someone different doesn't mean something is wrong. It just means that you desire variety, and that is part of human nature. But I would never replace my partner. She's not perfect, and neither am I, but she's damn close to being so.

The confusion may be that escorting and punting can be viewed as starting an affair and this is a gross mistake. The escort is paid for her/his time, and things take place. An affair is where you seek somebody else out for a relationship to either augment or replace the one you are currently in, and THAT can be destructive. Escorting is a business transaction, and if all of those involved bear that in mind, then there would be no confusion.

Interesting and very honest post, although I would consider it unusual, it does lead to a question, which you can ignore if you so wish....does your wife use an escort service?

[max california]

I'm not married, in fact I haven't had a serious relationship since I started seeing escorts. I think I would find it very hard to stay faithfull having experienced such good appointments, but if I was to visit someone outside of my marriage/relationship I'd rather visit an escort than have a full blown affair.

[experiencedguy]

Interesting and very honest post, although I would consider it unusual, it does lead to a question, which you can ignore if you so wish....does your wife use an escort service?

Actually, she has in the past, but felt the lack of emotional attachment was a barrier to her enjoyment. Just to clarify also, she's not my wife.

[mer]

i have to agree its just not fair to be sneaking around behind there partners backs, maybe you shud just split up then and put your wife or partner back on the market maybe i might bump into them and give them a bone of my own hahaha gigigity gigigtty o right

[doodlebug]

Actually, she has in the past, but felt the lack of emotional attachment was a barrier to her enjoyment. Just to clarify also, she's not my wife.

Thanks for the reply, sorry my assumption not your post. Thanks again for your honesty, it is a very refreshing thing to read. I wish you well in your relationship and in general.

[experiencedguy]

Just general curiosity here. Do the married punters feel that seeing escorts would be worth the loss of their marriage if found out?

That's quite a complex issue, phrased in a deceptively simple way. Again, I can only answer for myself.

To ignore or suppress the natural urges that I get would be to deny a part of myself, and a part of my nature. If I was in a relationship where this had to happen for the relationship to survive, then I would end it myself.