I have a problem

[RedRoy]

Hey everyone,

Ok, I'm a first time poster and have something I need to get off my chest. I'm relatively young (under 25) and recently have considered going to see an escort. A big part of me sees it as something wrong (catholic guilt is what I attribute it too!) but another part of me sees it as ok.

The main reason I have been considering it is because I am going through a bad patch with women. I never considered myself a ladies man but always seemed to do ok for myself (i was always surprised if a girl I considered good looking was interested in me) but now I get nervous just being around an attractive girl. When I go to talk to one in a bar or club I freeze up, get all sweaty and have no idea what to say or start a conversation. I usually end up drinking more than I should to boost my courage but all this does is make me act like a fool and turns women off immediately.

So recently I've been considering going to see one of the lovely ladies here in order to boost my confidence but I'm not so sure if its the right thing to do.

Sorry if this sounds like a "woe is me"letter but I was just wondering if anyone here has ever felt the same and if so, how they dealt with it. Any and all advice is welcome

[warmcome]

Roy, my boy!

choose which girl you like, it'll be great fun.
don't listen to the catholics, not perfect either!

[doodlebug]

I would suggest you don't go visit an escort, just yet. The pleasure in visiting an escort is at the end of the day a business transaction and a fantasy for the period it lasts. It will not boost your confidence and may only serve to give you a false level of expectation of women you meet socially.

That is my opinion. Your lack of confidence as you see it is something that we all go through in some form or another. If you rationalise it, you might be able to get over it. You see someone in a bar, and you get nervous, whats the worst can happen, she tells you to fxxx off! you don't know her so what harm. Pick yourself up and move on.

As the song says...I get knocked down, but I get up again.

My tuppence worth.

[Forrest]

Hey everyone,

Ok, I'm a first time poster and have something I need to get off my chest. I'm relatively young (under 25) and recently have considered going to see an escort. A big part of me sees it as something wrong (catholic guilt is what I attribute it too!) but another part of me sees it as ok.

The main reason I have been considering it is because I am going through a bad patch with women. I never considered myself a ladies man but always seemed to do ok for myself (i was always surprised if a girl I considered good looking was interested in me) but now I get nervous just being around an attractive girl. When I go to talk to one in a bar or club I freeze up, get all sweaty and have no idea what to say or start a conversation. I usually end up drinking more than I should to boost my courage but all this does is make me act like a fool and turns women off immediately.

So recently I've been considering going to see one of the lovely ladies here in order to boost my confidence but I'm not so sure if its the right thing to do.

Sorry if this sounds like a "woe is me"letter but I was just wondering if anyone here has ever felt the same and if so, how they dealt with it. Any and all advice is welcome

Well, I can tell you for sure, drinking to boost your courage is only temporary, and not necessarily a solution.

If you feel confident about yourself, without being an egomaniac, ladies will recognise it and be happy to interact.

Liaisons with escorts have certainly helped my confidence, and I am a lot more comfortable around women now.

It's just a pity I'm almost over the hill.

Go for it, RedBoy, and take the confidence gained into the pubs and clubs.

[blue8671]

I was 44 and had only slept with two women in my life, I was with my first girlfriend for 4 years then married my second and had been faithfull to my wife for over 20 years, last year I was seriously ill and had to have a major operation that could have resulted in me loosing my ability to get a erection, I decided after everything was sorted and I could still have sex that I was going to make up for all the women that I had missed out on while i still could.

As you can imagine I was so nervous and even now I still feel that im very inexperianced but I just thought to myself go for it and you should do the same. If a man my age can overcome there worries and fears then a young guy like yourself should have no problems. Its a big decision beleive me nobody knows that better than me but I have now met a few wonderful young ladies that I could never have met any other way and one in particular that i just keep going back to so have a look who is in your area pick up the phone and dont be afraid to say your nervous or neew to this as the ladies here will look after you and take things at the speed that is comfortable for you.

[doodlebug]

I was 44 and had only slept with two women in my life, I was with my first girlfriend for 4 years then married my second and had been faithfull to my wife for over 20 years, last year I was seriously ill and had to have a major operation that could have resulted in me loosing my ability to get a erection, I decided after everything was sorted and I could still have sex that I was going to make up for all the women that I had missed out on while i still could.

As you can imagine I was so nervous and even now I still feel that im very inexperianced but I just thought to myself go for it and you should do the same. If a man my age can overcome there worries and fears then a young guy like yourself should have no problems. Its a big decision beleive me nobody knows that better than me but I have now met a few wonderful young ladies that I could never have met any other way and one in particular that i just keep going back to so have a look who is in your area pick up the phone and dont be afraid to say your nervous or neew to this as the ladies here will look after you and take things at the speed that is comfortable for you.

Blue, forgive me for saying it but this is Redroys story in reverse, you have met and married. I suspect it is the relationship side of things that makes him nervous not just the sexual side. I know that since I have been visiting escorts I don't even try to meet women anymore because I know when I have the cash I am certain to meet a beautiful woman and have a good time. That is my fear for Redroy. Like yourself I am considerably older than he is and it is spoiling my social life, LOL (although enhancing it in some other ways too!)

[Forrest]

I would suggest you don't go visit an escort, just yet. The pleasure in visiting an escort is at the end of the day a business transaction and a fantasy for the period it lasts. It will not boost your confidence and may only serve to give you a false level of expectation of women you meet socially.

My tuppence worth.

The sexual side will definitely give a false level of expectation of women, but escorts can provide a lot more than that.

Yes, it is a fantasy, wrapped in a business transaction, but it can help to make a guy feel better about himself.

It may not work that way for all guys, but it's worth a shot for RedRoy, as long as he doesn't overdo it.

[doodlebug]

The sexual side will definitely give a false level of expectation of women, but escorts can provide a lot more than that.

Yes, it is a fantasy, wrapped in a business transaction, but it can help to make a guy feel better about himself.

It may not work that way for all guys, but it's worth a shot for RedRoy, as long as he doesn't get overdo it.

Agreed but its the knowing when to stop!!!!

[warmcome]

theres no doubt that visiting an escort 'short cuts' a lot of
other social particpation and the standard of partner will be as you choose.

[carlos marvado]

All the above posts contain words of wisdom. If Brother Redroy is feeling a bit low and is seeking a way to boost his confidence with the ladies (without having to resort to alcohol which is just counter productive) then escorts may very well be the way to go, but bear in mind that it is only a business transaction (paid for sex), can be addictive and should not be seen as a normal substitute for a proper relationship.

As for the catholic guilt shit, no comment........it's been one of the few afflictions I've never suffered with.......thanks be to Jesus, Mary and Joseph.