The official "Good Morning" thread for Thursday 18th August
It has always been my ambition to start a thread here that would run to 20 pages on more and after some three and a half years posting here, I think I've finally cracked the secret. No point in posting anything of any great import as during the morning people are just too tired to digest and reply to heavy intellectual material, during most of the day they're too busy at work to stop to read a serious thread fully, and in the evening they are either too tired from working or wanking all day to retain consciousness, or are too drunk or horny and therefore have their minds on other matters.
So the formula is........keep it simple so that everyone knows what you're on about and can relate to the subject matter without racking their brains. So here goes..........
Good morning Patricia, E-I managers and staff, community, review and forum managers, magicalman, escorts who I have shagged or have'nt had the pleasure of shagging yet and all esteemed members of E-I...........is'nt it a beautiful f**king morning!
The reason that I can tell that it is morning is because I am in my bed, having just woken up, it is bright outside and I have spent the past hour or so observing the position of the sun as it moves ever higher above the horizon. In other words, I have been tracking the trajectory of the sun. For the benefit of newbies, the sun is the big orangey thingy that you can sometimes see in the sky, but never look directly at it unless you're wearing the type of shades that Bono wears.
Now where was I?..........ahh yes, a little known fact is that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. This means that on a fine morning when I can see the sun rising above the horizon, I can look out my bedroom window and tell which direction is east and as I spend the day tracking it's trajectory (assuming no clouds of course ( they're the big fluffy white, grey or sometimes black thingies newbies)), I can tell where west is. At this stage, I'm going to have to get slightly intellectual and introduce a new word, "perpendicular". Don't worry friends, it's got nothing whatsoever to do with dicks. Perpendicular means something like if I draw a straight line which bisects the east-west trajectory of the sun at right angles. or some such shite.........just google if ffs and you'll get the point. Anyway, I can use this principle to deduct in which direction north and south must lie, but which is north and which is south is more complicated. You have to wait until nightfall and hopefully, a stary sky (with no f**king clouds).
Now, many people are thinking, if they're in any fit state to think at this hour of the morning......."what the f**k use is all this information to me?" Simple, if you get lost, you can use the sun during the day, and the stars during the night to plot a course in the direction that you want to go or think you should be going in if you paid any attention in geography class. As an example, if you want to travel from Dublin to Galway (pretty much due west), just follow the trajectory of the sun all day long. You can chose to rest at night.......so f**k the stars (you need to be into astronomy to make use of them anyway). If the day is cloudy, you're rightly f**ked and could end up in Termonfeckin instead of Galway. But there is one benefit of living in Ireland.........even if your sense of direction is up your arse, as long as you walk in a straightish line, you'll arrive at the sea at some stage.......or it could be the ocean if you find your way to Galway.
So, like I said, good morning all,........"have a nice day" as the Yanks would say.........and don't get f**king lost.
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Originally Posted by Doozer
