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Thread: A few handy statements

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011

    Talking A few handy statements

    Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

    The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

    We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. (And some never learn!)

    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

    A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

    Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

    Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

    I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

    A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

    Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

    I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

    A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

    You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

    The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

    Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

    A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

    Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

    Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

    I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

    Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

    When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

    You're never too old to learn something stupid.

    To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

    Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

    I've spent my entire life doing nothing but collecting comic books... and now there's only time to say... LIFE WELL SPENT!

  2. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to comicbookguy For This Useful Post:

    dr love (14-07-11), dub1 (14-07-11), hd7055 (14-07-11), ladiesman217 (14-07-11), Magicman (14-07-11), saoirsemac (14-07-11), steady (14-07-11), theqm (14-07-11), ThomasJ (14-07-11), TomEA (14-07-11)

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