The Perfect Punter Will Always....

[Punter John]

the prefect punter will always do the following, in order to achive the best start possible......:

1, Carry a chewing gum or mint, or most escorts will keep mouthwash in the bathroom, so use it.

2, When you shower, do wash your very important bits, that means pulling your foreskin back ALL THE WAY (your mature chedar, from under your foreskin, won't taste as good as the one from the supermarket and most of us will just ask you to shower again), scrubing your bums (especially if you like rimming), and I mean scrubbing.

3, Most of us will ALWAYS give you a clean towel, but depending on the location (ie. some girls are in the hotels) we have limited numbers, so one towel per visit, unless more can be provided or something happens.

4, Pls DO NOT BOOK if you have cold COLD SORES, SCARES (take care when shaving, however I stick a plaster over scars where possible), or ANYTHING ON YOUR SKIN you are unsure of. (some things like ecsema etc. are fine and most likely you will know that you have it already), as you will miss out on kissing, owo. OR we will catch your skin infection and pass it around unknowingly...

5, Be a gentleman... (luckily most of you are )

6, if you are running more then 15 min late, pls keep us updated, so we can alter the schedual, if neccesary

7, last but not least pls ONLY ring with your mobile number showing and bear in mind that some of us don't answer txts at all, so don't txt unless you are advised to do so... (I HATE TXTING)

I think that's it on my part really. Any ladies think of anything else pls type on in bulett points only, just to keep it simple...
xxx

This wasn't meant as an offence etc., so pls go easy on me...

who cares?

I would do all of this anyway but certainly don't care about your views on hygiene or escort booking etiquette. It's MY MONEY. What right do you have to make a list of demands?

You don't have to see me, you don't have to take the money. I am so sick of this attitude from escorts like they're doing you a favor. Um, no, it's a fair and balanced transaction. You're no princess.

Next on this list were gonna see:

1) don't ask anything about me.
2) don't look directly in my eyes.
3) you may only receive 5 minutes maximum of oral sex.
4) do not call on Thursdays as I am busy on Thursdays.
5) you must not have red hair

you can tell when a girl has been doing this too long, she starts to get real stroppy and picky.

I say suck it up and shut up or get out of the business.

If I wanted to hear a bunch of inane requests and nagging I'd talk to my wife.

[Blackwish]

Maybe if would You talk to Your wife You wouldn't have to visit escorts

Anyway ... that's ridiculous that anyone might thinking about questioning Katie's worlds of truth... I mean it so f..in obvious, like washing your hands before breakfast...
But who knows, maybe when I become old, I will start thinking about hygiene as a favour to others ...

[Honey/Alexi D]

who cares?

I would do all of this anyway but certainly don't care about your views on hygiene or escort booking etiquette. It's MY MONEY. What right do you have to make a list of demands?

You don't have to see me, you don't have to take the money. I am so sick of this attitude from escorts like they're doing you a favor. Um, no, it's a fair and balanced transaction. You're no princess.

Next on this list were gonna see:

1) don't ask anything about me.
2) don't look directly in my eyes.
3) you may only receive 5 minutes maximum of oral sex.
4) do not call on Thursdays as I am busy on Thursdays.
5) you must not have red hair

you can tell when a girl has been doing this too long, she starts to get real stroppy and picky.

I say suck it up and shut up or get out of the business.

If I wanted to hear a bunch of inane requests and nagging I'd talk to my wife.

Wow....... Who's an angry boy?

Well just to add a small opinion here.......( Adding fule I'm sure )

Well how about this to Kats post.

Dont call me at 3 in the morning giggling with friends asking if I will see you all, Unless I can call your wife/girlfriend/life partner swinging both ways, with the request I can borrow you for a while.

Dont call me, make a booking, continue to shop around then forget to tell me your not coming.

I could continue but I think I have said enough about that. Sorry John think you need to remember something every buiseness have terms and conditions applied. If you dont like the terms attached then there are two results

You dont like dont go.

Or if you dont like but still want. as a business WE DONT COMPRIMISE....... Take it or leave it.

I'm sorry guys this is an agressive post but this gentelman and any other gent's out there that may have a simillar veiw, needs to understand we all as HUMANS and SERVICE PROVIDERS, This is a business and we to have rules. If you dont like my requierments then I wouldn't be seeing you anyway, as I'm sure my Fellow ladies will agree. We dont need to stand for bad hygien, we are not animals. If you came to us,and we smelt like we hadn't washed for a few days, Or crustations under my clit hood that could make the best of us sick with the smell. Tissue in our arse crack or lumps of shit/skid-marks on my arse.
Attack you with my tounge, licking your face before I find your mouth. After eating garlic and smoking a box of 20 within the last 30 mins.
How about wash my bits in the sink then have a wee and expect you to lick it out, not forgetting then grabbing you head, wearing a strap-on, all the way down the back of your throat, then even know you dont swallow, cum all the way in back of your throat.....ooop's sorry

[katxxx]

Dear Punter John,

You have stated at the beginning of your post, that you do this things anyway.... , so what is the fuss about then????

You won't be handed a manuscript on arrival, don't worry.... I have not listed anything impossible or ridiculous at all, so why the tone of your voice?

Trust me, there are guys out there, who do show up with cold sores, I don't know why they assume, that I'll be happily snogging them, and things on their skins unfortunatelly.
All the above mentioned are VERY regular accurances, that's why I've posted the list.
There are also new people looking at the board all the time, perhaps some of them don't have any or very little experience with escorts, don't you think, they might find it useful????

Yes, you have the money and you spend it whereever you want it, but I put myself before any money babes.... there is life after escorting for me....
It's like when you are trying to board a flight and you are drunk... they won't let you board... now I won't suck your cock or kiss you if you have cold sores, scares or cheese under your foreskin or lick your bum if it is covered with you know what...

xxx

[delmonte]

Well Alexi,
I must say , you have painted the most beautiful picture of life as an escort in your last comment..I know it is not funny but I can't help laughing at how you have described it....Well done..

[katxxx]

Trust me Delmonet, most of this things happen on a daily bases (I would say at least one of them per day, I mean the higyne points here) that's why, I've put those points togeather, I tried it in a not so discriptive way, but hey, it had to be said differently...... just to keep you occupied or horried?????

""""Dont call me at 3 in the morning giggling with friends asking if I will see you all, Unless I can call your wife/girlfriend/life partner swinging both ways, with the request I can borrow you for a while."""" DOES OCCASINALLY HAPPEN

"""""Dont call me, make a booking, continue to shop around then forget to tell me your not coming."""" EVERY DAY


"""If you came to us,and we smelt like we hadn't washed for a few days,""" RARELY
""""Or crustations under my clit hood that could make the best of us sick with the smell.""""" EVERY DAY the other way round of course

""""" Tissue in our arse crack or lumps of shit/skid-marks on my arse."""""" 3 TIMES IN 11 DAYS I had to wash the sheat due to this kind of thing....

Attack you with my tounge, licking your face before I find your mouth. OCCASINALL

"""""""""""" After eating garlic and smoking a box of 20 within the last 30 mins."""" OCCASIONAL

"""""How about wash my bits in the sink then have a wee and expect you to lick it out""""" EVERY DAY (almost all men have a shower then wee, I'm very puzzeled with that myself)

""""not forgetting then grabbing you head, wearing a strap-on, all the way down the back of your throat, then even know you dont swallow, cum all the way in back of your throat.....ooop's sorry""""" OCCASIONAL


ps:THERE ARE LOTS OF NICE THINGS YOU GUYS DO TOO, WHICH MAYBE I SHOULD PUT TOGEATHER..... WORKING ON IT!!!!!!

[bigpaws]

Kat everything you listed on your list of expectations would seem to me to be just the standard so I have to say it's a sad world we live in were if escorts somtimes encounter these problems ............ lads have some self-respect for christ's sake!!
Having personally visited Kat I can say honestly she was the most passionate escort I have ever been with and did NOT show me a list of do's and dont's ect. Why?? Because I behaved the way all punters should behave/appear in the company of an escort which made her comfortable and happy which in turn ensured I recieved the best possible service from her leaving ME very happy!!
Kat I would encourage you to post here more as I feel after reading this post that you must surely have a lot more very valid comments/opinions in that pretty little head of yours ...................
Oh by the way what's the odds punterjohn/hal isn't getting any at the moment (see his most recent "reviews"!!) .............. I'm also fairly sure he's a ginger!! :-)

Paws

[Appoline]

...As a lady in Manchester says, 'the cleaner the client, the dirtier the service...'

[diver]

Escorts see too many guys to be concerned about looks. If you are friendly, considerate and CLEAN an escort will enjoy your company and give you the best time possible because she will want you back as a regular. If you are dirty and inconsiderate you could look like Brad Pitt and the escort will still try to get rid of you as quick as she can.
The way I look at it, money gets you in the door. How good a time you have is as much up to you and your attitude as it is the escort.
I have to say, as one who has passed close inspection by Kat, that I was very disappointed not to come away with a Certificate of Cleanliness.

[katxxx]

That is so true diver.....

I'll make you special cert, stamp it with my pussy juices , which you can take to the health clinic for inspection..... Hope you had a good time though....

Before you guys think I'm (or most of the girls are) so in your face and I'll inspect you with a microscope, I won't..... BUT for the things I've listed you don't need one anyway....