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Thread: E-I News

  1. #1
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    Default E-I News



    And welcome back to E-I news after a short respite. Let me be the first to apologise for the atrocity that was contained within the previous E-I news programme. Tina hacked into the news database and falsely broadcasted links to certain news articles. For those of you who do not know, Tina is my work colleague who absolutely hates me guts for reasons unknown to even God (well I did shag here one night without calling her the next morning but, surely that's not it?).

    Now, our main news tonight: Ireland's roads 6th safest in the European Union; Irish income 3rd highest in the European Union; and finally tonight, video evidence of utter terror and trauma in Benny's household!!!

    Ireland's roads have been declared the 6th safest in the EU, according to a new survey. Within the decade of 2001-2010 road fatalities in Ireland fell by 48%, just short of the EU target of 50%. Only 8 member states achieved this target, including Sweden, UK, Malta, Netherlands and Germany, all of which are above Ireland in terms of safety. Ireland was however below average when it came to reducing cyclist deaths. The European Transport Council has set a new target of a further 50% reduction in road deaths by 2020. Now... I dunno about you, but I hate cyclists when I'm driving! Especially when you're on a tiny narrow winding road that struggles to fit 2 cars side by side! *cough* I am somewhat flabbergasted (hope I spelled that right) that we've done so well in every other aspect of road safety. In my experience, at least 15-25% of road users can't even navigate around a roundabout correctly!!! It ain't rocket science people!!!!! For further information on roundabouts, see one of my old threads.



    Irish households are joint 3rd among the EU member states in terms of income per household. Ironically Ireland is also among the highest of EU states with the highest prices, not that that wasn't known to us already! *cough* Ireland has suffered by far the largest decline in average income of any EU member in recent years. Another thing we already knew... Pardon me a minute folks..... [guys wtf are you giving me so-called news that every God damned mofo in the country knows and has done for the last heaven knows how many years????? cop on ya tools!!!] *cough* Well nothing more to say on that matter. Moving on...



    The following footage is petrifying and frightening for those of you with feline ancestry. For those of you felines brave (stupid enough) to click on the following link, please, do not try this at home. Benny's Family Vault-Part 1. Many thanks to our undercover reporter (Peeping Tom) for capturing this footage on film.


    Once again, let me apologise for the atrocities that transpired during the last E-I news. Tina has since been fired and we are currently looking for a new anchor. The ideal candidate should have large natural breasts, be extremely sexy, have great charisma and above all else be good at f*cking [Only females need apply, but due to sexual discrimination issues we cannot openly advertise female only. All males who apply will be unsuccessful]. This has been LDM for E-I news.




    __________________________________













    I'm not insane, I'm adorably bonkers!!!

    Frumsp & LDM Industries

  2. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to ladiesman217 For This Useful Post:

    benin (21-06-11), comicbookguy (21-06-11), dave1dave (21-06-11), dr love (21-06-11), lovethegirls (21-06-11), Nicole (21-06-11), Rayden (21-06-11)

  3. #2
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    Thank you ldm for a class report , please accept our thanks for your continued effort you put into your broadcasts .
    EI forum out .

    Benny looks like he could do with a house cleaner .: lol
    Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
    People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do .: doc

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    Quote Originally Posted by dr love View Post
    Thank you ldm for a class report , please accept our thanks for your continued effort you put into your broadcasts .
    EI forum out .

    Benny looks like he could do with a house cleaner .: lol
    is this thread meant to be funny??????


    (im pmsl.. really am)

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    Quote Originally Posted by benin View Post
    is this thread meant to be funny??????


    (im pmsl.. really am)
    Ya have to give it to ldm he's good .
    Now off topic new avatar benny .:
    doc
    Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
    People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do .: doc

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    Well I had to make up for Tina's f*ck up didn't I? Couldn't have my good name being dragged through the mud! Unless it was mud wrestling with the ladies

    Btw, more footage of the aftermath of Benny's rug fiasco has been found. Very short, but clearly shows how fragile his mind is
    Poor Benny!
    I'm not insane, I'm adorably bonkers!!!

    Frumsp & LDM Industries

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    Quote Originally Posted by dr love View Post
    Ya have to give it to ldm he's good .
    Now off topic new avatar benny .:
    doc
    ffs post 5 is the off topic one doc...yeah its new...but i have had a request to change it...will be changing tomorrow.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ladiesman217 View Post
    Well I had to make up for Tina's f*ck up didn't I? Couldn't have my good name being dragged through the mud! Unless it was mud wrestling with the ladies

    Btw, more footage of the aftermath of Benny's rug fiasco has been found. Very short, but clearly shows how fragile his mind is
    Poor Benny!
    cheers i just sprayed my laptop with 7 up...that might remove the stains *cough*...never mind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dr love View Post
    Ya have to give it to ldm he's good .
    Now off topic new avatar benny .:
    doc
    I... must... not... cry... tears... of... joy...

    *cries hysterically*
    I'm not insane, I'm adorably bonkers!!!

    Frumsp & LDM Industries

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    Quote Originally Posted by benin View Post
    ffs post 5 is the off topic one doc...yeah its new...but i have had a request to change it...will be changing tomorrow.
    Back to sniper cat is it .: doc
    Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
    People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do .: doc

  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by dr love View Post
    Back to sniper cat is it .: doc
    no mate a new one.... and if you look carefully this one is a sniper cat...ya tool!

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