My girlfriend texted me 'I'm horny, tell me something hot...'
So I replied, 'I'm hot and sweaty, working out'
She sent back, 'ohh what are you working out at the moment? '
I said, 'I'm working out how to flush my massive shit'
Please let this be your last post.
Originally Posted by mer
The Following User Says Thank You to Rayden For This Useful Post:
Made me laugh. Well smile anyway
The Following User Says Thank You to Eugen For This Useful Post:
Man says to his wife 'your arse is the size of 3- burner BBQ!'
Later in bed he says ''Fancy a Shag?'' ''No ta, no point lighting the fecking BBQ for a half of sausage''!!
Jock takes his wife to casualty, she has no teeth,a broken nose and two black eyes.
Doctor says,'' what happened? Jock says ''she's been going through the change!
Doctor says, ''That doesnt happen with the change!
Jock Replies...''it does when its in my fucking pocket!''.
A Radio station is offering a world trip to whoever can come up with the best word thats not
in the dictionary but can be put into a sentence. A wee glasgow guy calls in and says,''ma word is Gaun,spelt g.a.u.n
and ma sentence is ''Gaun fuck yerself''. The DJ hangs up and apologises to his listeners. 5mins later another Glasgow guy
calls and says ''Ma word is smee, spelt s.m.e.e. DJ says ''Ok,whats your sentence?''
The guy says, ''Smee again,gaun fuck yerself''!
My fucking neighbour knocked my door at 2.30 this morning.
Can u believe it,2.30am.....
Lucky for him, i was still up
playing my drums.
Mer was taking to hospital today after buttering his bum
and shoving 6 toy horses up his arsehole. Doctors
described his condition as stable.
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to skywalker85 For This Useful Post:
Aggie (12-06-11), mer (12-06-11)