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Thread: 5 Stages of Being Drunk

  1. #1
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    Default 5 Stages of Being Drunk

    Stage 1 – SMART
    This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe.
    You know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen.
    At this stage you are always RIGHT.
    And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG.
    This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

    Stage 2 – GOOD LOOKING
    This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you.
    You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you.
    Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

    Stage 3 – RICH
    This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world.
    You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar.
    You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win all your bets.
    It doesn’t matter how much you bet ‘cos you are RICH.
    You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

    Stage 4 – BULLET PROOF
    You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing.
    This is because nothing can hurt you.
    At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money.
    You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you’re BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

    Stage 5 – INVISIBLE
    This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness.
    At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you.
    You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you.
    You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you’re still SMART you know allthe words.
    Last edited by monster_monster; 31-05-11 at 23:40.

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  3. #2
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    But I dont get any of those. I am fine one minute and then pissed -legless -cant -stand -up drunk the next. My friends only know I am drunk when I slither under the table. Its an affliction
    If life gives you lemons ask for Tequila

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    Quote Originally Posted by lucy chambers View Post
    But I dont get any of those. I am fine one minute and then pissed -legless -cant -stand -up drunk the next. My friends only know I am drunk when I slither under the table. Its an affliction
    ahhhh I see, a constant stage 8 we have one our hands

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    I thought the five stages were morning noon day evening and night
    Join the E-I Fantasy Football League

    http://www.escort-ireland.com/boards...ntasy-Football

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    Wud luv you to slither under my table!!!!! lol

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    Lucy Chambers (01-06-11)

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    Quote Originally Posted by lucy chambers View Post
    But I dont get any of those. I am fine one minute and then pissed -legless -cant -stand -up drunk the next. My friends only know I am drunk when I slither under the table. Its an affliction
    im a little bit like that too on a longer binge, jober as a sudge one minute, collapsed in a heap the next, like flicking a switch, or like my brain suddenly says ahh ffs ive had enough of this for one night!!!

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    Lucy Chambers (01-06-11)

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    Quote Originally Posted by wakka View Post
    Wud luv you to slither under my table!!!!! lol
    You wouldn't, I tend to knock the whole table of drinks off with me. Not pretty. I get drunk rarely now. I do miss it
    Last edited by lucy chambers; 01-06-11 at 00:32.
    If life gives you lemons ask for Tequila

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    Quote Originally Posted by lucy chambers View Post
    You wouldn't, I tend to knock the whole table of drinks off with me. Not pretty. I get drunk rarely now. I do miss it
    Bwha ha ha ha ha.

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