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Thread: E-I News at 20:16 with LDM

  1. #1
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    Default E-I News at 20:16 with LDM

    Good evening. This is LDM for E-I news. Our top headlines tonight: Ruby's identity revealed; new date for apocalypse; and finally, scandals and shenanigans of a sexual nature in the E-I newsroom!!!

    First, we have been getting many emails as of late as to what Ruby looks like. For those of you who don't know, Ruby is the 25 year old daughter of the newsroom's chief and a lady who (invisibly) helps me broadcast the news to our loyal fans. Incidentally, I have made sticky time with Ruby on multiple occasions but that's irrelevant. You may notice that she is not here tonight, well that is due to the fact that she is not very supportive of having her picture posted online for all you perves to to. Well it was the chief's decision to have his daughter's pic posted on tonight's broadcast, in the hopes of attracting a wider audience. So I shan't delay it any further, ladies and gentleperves I hereby present to you, Ruby!





    Next tonight, nutty US priest Harold Camping, the gentle old codger behind May 21st's Rapture, has now stated that the new deadline for Judgment Day is to be October 21st. He stated that the events (or lack of) on May 21st was a spiritual Judgment Day rather than a physical one. He said he believed rapture didn’t come because God decided to spare humanity five months of "hell on earth". Ok... Ya I'm bored with this sh*t faced frozen tampon langer religious nutter... For more details please visit the following site, which also includes a video of an interview with said nutcase: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/new-deadlin...-20110524.html


    Finally tonight, scandal in the E-I newsroom. Let me begin by saying that I was ordered by the chief himself to deliver this, therefore I am in no way responsible for any fall outs which may occur due to this information being leaked. It has come to the attention of the chief (due to an anonymous source) that one of his senior advisors has been tapping his wife Rachel. For reference purposes only, I have included a pic of said strumpet below:



    The identity of the senior advisor in question has also been revealed by the same source. And that senior advisor is none other than: *drum roll*.....

    DR LOVE!!!

    Now I must report that the source who leaked this information to the chief has been found battered and blooded and is in severe condition in hospital. The police have asked me to submit a statement to all readers/staff of the E-I news regarding this assault.


    "You all had a motive, every one here.
    You knew that the chief changed his will and left everything to the anonymous source.
    And that's why you wanted the fecker out of the way.
    Benny wanted to get a passport for his twin sister to get her out of the cat box but the anonymous source wouldn't allow it.
    But Benny didn't count on LDM discovering he has no twin sister.
    And Benny himself was recently released from the cattery.
    And that's where Sam came into the picture.....
    "


    Thank you all for watching. If anyone has further details regarding the assault on the anonymous source (whose name rhymes with Payden) please contact your nearest police station. This has been LDM for E-I news.
    Last edited by ladiesman217; 24-05-11 at 20:17.
    I'm not insane, I'm adorably bonkers!!!

    Frumsp & LDM Industries

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    Am I the only one that after a few lines go what the hell is this all about
    I wish I was taking some of what you're taking LDM, you've some imagination lol
    Thank you all the ladies I had pleasure of meeting. Forever grateful for the memories

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rodney69 View Post
    Am I the only one that after a few lines go what the hell is this all about
    I wish I was taking some of what you're taking LDM, you've some imagination lol
    _ I dunno to make of that Rodders... Should I:

    a) Be offended that hardly anyone pays attention to my news reports.

    b) Be worried that I put too much effort into trying to entertain you b*stards. lol

    or

    c) Take your last line as a compliment.

    I dunno
    I'm not insane, I'm adorably bonkers!!!

    Frumsp & LDM Industries

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    Must admit I'm a bit disappointed in Rubys appearence, thought she would be sexier than that...oh well, another fantasy shattered.
    Come in she said "I'll give you shelter from the storm "

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    Quote Originally Posted by ladiesman217 View Post
    _ I dunno to make of that Rodders... Should I:

    a) Be offended that hardly anyone pays attention to my news reports.

    b) Be worried that I put too much effort into trying to entertain you b*stards. lol

    or

    c) Take your last line as a compliment.

    I dunno
    Oh I'm glad I dug myself out of a hole as I was sinking deeper, take the last line as a compliment please
    Thank you all the ladies I had pleasure of meeting. Forever grateful for the memories

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    Quote Originally Posted by mellors View Post
    Must admit I'm a bit disappointed in Rubys appearence, thought she would be sexier than that...oh well, another fantasy shattered.
    Boy God you've high standards...

    Quote Originally Posted by Rodney69 View Post
    Oh I'm glad I dug myself out of a hole as I was sinking deeper, take the last line as a compliment please
    Will do lol.
    I'm not insane, I'm adorably bonkers!!!

    Frumsp & LDM Industries

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    A sincere thanks for reporting of the highest calibre .The snitch is in a bad way still , but I have no sympathy as he was only after my job and the director viewed in this way .
    Please keep up the good work LDM it is appreciated .
    EU forum out


    Jasus that was a close one for me but ya bollix keep me out of your reports .shall we visit ray after the poor gubshite , it would be a show of solidarity after all.
    Things are progressing nicely at my end with herself but will need a little more time before I can suggest your wishes of becoming anchor in the newsroom .
    I promise not to be too long in negotiating your imminent return to us .
    But as you see from photo I get a little distracted lol
    doc
    Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
    People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do .: doc

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    Quote Originally Posted by dr love View Post
    A sincere thanks for reporting of the highest calibre .The snitch is in a bad way still , but I have no sympathy as he was only after my job and the director viewed in this way .
    Please keep up the good work LDM it is appreciated .
    EU forum out


    Jasus that was a close one for me but ya bollix keep me out of your reports .shall we visit ray after the poor gubshite , it would be a show of solidarity after all.
    Things are progressing nicely at my end with herself but will need a little more time before I can suggest your wishes of becoming anchor in the newsroom .
    I promise not to be too long in negotiating your imminent return to us .
    But as you see from photo I get a little distracted lol
    doc
    doc, I didn't wanna out you but I was given orders like. What, I was supposed to ignore the chiefs orders and lose my job?? Feck that. Sorry dude, I had no choice Ya... I don't blame you for getting a piece of that fine bum. lol. Meh, I can't be bothered visiting Ray in the A&E... I'm sure they'll release him soon enough anyway
    I'm not insane, I'm adorably bonkers!!!

    Frumsp & LDM Industries

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    Quote Originally Posted by ladiesman217 View Post
    doc, I didn't wanna out you but I was given orders like. What, I was supposed to ignore the chiefs orders and lose my job?? Feck that. Sorry dude, I had no choice Ya... I don't blame you for getting a piece of that fine bum. lol. Meh, I can't be bothered visiting Ray in the A&E... I'm sure they'll release him soon enough anyway
    I suppose your right LDM , I'm sure he will turn up soon with his side of the story .: doc
    Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
    People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do .: doc

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    i fear by posting here we might be helping a sad middle aged man get his kicks...but enough about me....lol

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