Good evening all and welcome to E-I news. I am LDM and this invisible lady is my friend Ruby. Say hi Ruby. *no response*. *coughs*. I would like to thank all our loyal watchers and apologise for the lack of news reports over the past 2 days or so. I am happy to announce that all inter-office complaints have been resolved (although I am still waiting on several things ¬_¬).
Tonight's headlines: Ryan Giggs confirmed as footballer in midst of the whole privacy row; Barack Obama visits Irish shores today; and finally, boy presumed dead after leaping into river.
First tonight, a British MP (well of course the bloke's gonna be British, he's hardly gonna be Vietnamese is he??? F*ck sake whoever writes these scripts needs to be taken out and beaten) has defied a court order by identifying Ryan Giggs as the footballer fighting a legal battle to prevent newspapers from publishing allegations of an affair... (we all knew about this like yesterday, why the f*ck am I being given yesterdays news today??? *sigh*). Giggsy has apparently been at it with UK something-or-other Imogen Thomas. Yea that's all you lot need to know. Here's a pic of her for some of ye to wank to... Hmm don't blame the guy for getting inside her pants!
Moving on, US president Brack Obama has arrived on Irish soil and... Excuse me one minute folks. (yes what do you want, I'm working here?... Oh ffs! Gimme these details before I report them will you FFS!!!)... Sorry folks but apparently Obama has left Ireland for his UK trip due to the new ash clouds from Iceland. Right, well he visited several places, spoke a few words, shaked hands with a couple of people, then f*cked off! Oh well... I'd give one to his wife though wouldn't you?
Finally tonight, a US teen (oh here we go with the yanks AGAIN) is presumed dead after jumping into a river to celebrate the world not end... Oh FFS I ain't reporting this sh*t. For anyone wanting further details on this, click on the following link: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/%E2%80%98ju...or-us-boy.html
This has been LDM and his sexy invisible friend Ruby reporting for E-I news.
*off-air*: guys is going on with this sh*t!!! I went on strike and came back to this??? RESOURCES RESOURCES RESOURCES PEOPLE!!! Cripes almighty... AND WHERE'S MY F*CKING SANDWICH?!?!?!