On a plastic sheet, my afternoon with Lucy

[Mousey]

does that mean your common when u talk Lucy not that I was thinking of visiting u or anything.. I'm posh..

She answers the phone and says, "Eeeeee, by gum...."
While talking, she keeps saying "... and I'll tell 'ee that fer nowt..."
Her laugh is like a tractor's engine and when she said "'ey oop" answering the door I nearly walked out.
It's like shagging Amos' missus from Emmerdale Farm.





'Cept a million times better.

[Irish Fiona]

Ok, here is what really happened. Mellors sent me an email, begging me to act out his latest fantasy. which was sex with the girl from the Boddingtons ad. (Said he can only get it up for a mancunian) Being the pleasant non judgemental service provider I am, I agreed to get into role. When I arrived at the river, a strange figure ambled up to me. I was taken aback, as I had expected Mellors to be clad discreetly, not wearing PVC gimp suit, trilby hat and copious amounts of lipstick. Still, I am paid to be non judgemental, so we retired to my quarters.

Upon entering the building, he thrust himself against my leg, quivering as he whispered that he had brought me a gift. I was delighted until he pulled out an anal probe about a foot in length, which frankly, looked rather..used. I unpeeled him from my, leg, keeping in role, and retired to another room to remind myself of the number for the Samaritans and the emergency services.. Upon my return, he was no where to be seen, indeed, I couldn't hear the plastic squeak nor laboured grunts that had signaled his advances thus far. I looked from room to room, puzzled but strangely relieved. Until that is, I opened my wardrobe, to find him naked but for my mothers fur stole and a luminous blue durex over his head. I asked what he was doing? Living the dream, he replied, or rather snuffled...

To be continued.

Bravo my dear xxxxxx


Best thread ever