it's someone's birthday...

[JAMESCORK]

Wankers!!!, bitta respect...

Happy birthday Nutter..

A few of the lads chipped in and got ya this:




It comes with free handy booklet:

The Zimmer Sutra

The Hip Hop : Position your bodies so that replacement hip is pressed sensually against replacement hip and groan simultaneously as if having an incredible orgasm.


96 : Similar to the famous 69 position but for much older practitioners. Position yourselves so that you are curled up back-to-back and settle down for a good night’s sleep.


Zimmer Swinger: Hobble slowly together until you are face to face with zimmers touching gently. Both participants lift their right hands off the frame and, carefully maintaining balance, put an arm round the partner. Pick yourselves up each time you fall and continue until you are fully satisfied or in too much pain to go on.


The Ton Up: Lie flat on the bed beside your partner and carefully consider whether it’s really worth all the effort.


The Threesome : Partners should lie in the Missionary position with the man on top. The Home Help takes the man by the waist and gently raises and lowers his body until someone either, climaxes, falls asleep or breaks a hip.


Doggie Style : Sit comfortably together by the window with a warm mug of cocoa and enjoy watching your Labrador making out with the Poodle next door.


The Boneshaker: A position for the more adventurous oldies. Lying side by side on a waterbed thrash about from side to side making those old bones creak and groan. Not one for the squeamish.


The Cardiac Arrest: With legs intertwined go at it like eighteen year olds. The thrill of this position is that you’re never quite sure whether your partner is experiencing new heights of excitement or simply having another heart attack.


Legs Eleven: Admit you’re past it and go and have an exciting game of bingo.


Enjoy pal.......