Serious Dilemma

[Fitzy]

A good relationship is based on openness and honesty, if you can't discuss everything what is the point..

I agree with you anon to a certain point but weight issues and woman very touchy point if he jumps in with his size 10 he might find sleeping on a park bench not very nice.

[jacksparrow2010]

After reading the post " Does the missus give you a blowjob or VV?", the responses back all seem to be the same. . . weight gain & loss of libido after "I do".

Im getting married in the summer, to a girl who used to be fairly skinny, but over the last couple of years has steadily put it on, so that now there is a healthy overhang and horizontal ripples (about 3 -4) when she wears a tight top.

To me, its a major turn off. I keep very fit, and if I say so myself, am in pretty good shape. She loves my body, and seeing me naked. I only wish the opposite was true.

But to bring up the subject of her weight, and how Id prefer it if she was skinny(ier), is like saying you dont believe in the holocaust. Not good. To me, keeping you body in shape is very important to me, I will never be fat, and expect the same of my partner.

What should I do ?
Be brave, and come out with it straight, before we get married ?
Or accept the inevitable, Irish women are fat, and after a couple of kids, it'll all go south anyway ?

Thanks,

wp

this is a joke right?... it must be as anyone who really loves someone and wants to marry them shouldnt be having second thoughs because of her weight ..wat a jerk... and you didnt mention once thats its her health your worried about!.. its basically that your demanding she stay as fit as you... you should be asking how can you help her be fitter and healthier and feel better about herself... if you love her.. why not just encourage her to workout or just go for walks with you and then if she drops abit of weight compliment her on how she looks like shes lost some weight and how good she looks ect ect... encouragement is key... come straight out like you did above and the result may be a bad one...

A good relationship is based on openness and honesty, if you can't discuss everything what is the point..

good one... Anon .. prob the wrong site to talk about "discussing everything" , "a good relationship".and "openness and honesty".. your sounding like us singles now..ha

Captain J...

[westernpunter]

this is a joke right?... it must be as anyone who really loves someone and wants to marry them shouldnt be having second thoughs because of her weight ..wat a jerk... and you didnt mention once thats its her health your worried about!.. its basically that your demanding she stay as fit as you... you should be asking how can you help her be fitter and healthier and feel better about herself... if you love her.. why not just encourage her to workout or just go for walks with you and then if she drops abit of weight compliment her on how she looks like shes lost some weight and how good she looks ect ect... encouragement is key... come straight out like you did above and the result may be a bad one...



good one... Anon .. prob the wrong site to talk about "discussing everything" , "a good relationship".and "openness and honesty".. your sounding like us singles now..ha

Captain J...

Thats fair enough Capt. J, but all of the above has been done. Yes, I am being selfish, in that I like a fit body, but so would she.... Im just concerned that her desire to stay fit and healthy is way less than mine. Ive done all the encouragement I can do, but she just doesnt seem to give a shit whether she's fit / healthy or not. So without coming out with it blatantly, I dont see what I can do... Hence why Im telling everyone in here....

Show me one man who hasn't had 2nd thoughts leading up to getting married ??? I dont believe its a reflection on my love / lack of for her. If the roles were reversed, I would totally see her having the same concerns as me...

A woman's point of view would be good here ?????

[jacksparrow2010]

Thats fair enough Capt. J, but all of the above has been done. Yes, I am being selfish, in that I like a fit body, but so would she.... Im just concerned that her desire to stay fit and healthy is way less than mine. Ive done all the encouragement I can do, but she just doesnt seem to give a shit whether she's fit / healthy or not. So without coming out with it blatantly, I dont see what I can do... Hence why Im telling everyone in here....

Show me one man who hasn't had 2nd thoughts leading up to getting married ??? I dont believe its a reflection on my love / lack of for her. If the roles were reversed, I would totally see her having the same concerns as me...

A woman's point of view would be good here ?????

yep most have second thoughts but about weight?... come on it is shallow.. but if its gona be a problem then I honestly dont know wat u can do!.. she isint going to be happy if u say it..
maybe if its going to be a life long problem for you then its time for you to move on... as even if she lost some now it may go back on in time and what then?...

I do sometimes laugh at the way guys on here talk down irish ladys for being bad in bed and being overweight ect ect... and alot dont seem to look at themselfs.. Ireland must be full of george clooneys they way some talk down the ladys..

Captain J...

[anon361]

good one... Anon .. prob the wrong site to talk about "discussing everything" , "a good relationship".and "openness and honesty".. your sounding like us singles now..ha

Captain J...

I think you know what I mean..

[Fitzy]

Words of wisdom cap jack you won't be walking the plank tonight.

[CoolJay]

I wouldn't bring up the subject of weight bad move .
.

Wouldnt the phrase ' be cruel to be kind ' apply to that,

[Fitzy]

Wouldnt the phrase ' be cruel to be kind ' apply to that,

Sometimes but not in this case one thinks.

[carlos marvado]

Go find yourself a nice black lady, or a latina, or an eastern European and really enjoy life. Irish women....non merci.

[Fitzy]

Go find yourself a nice black lady, or a latina, or an eastern European and really enjoy life. Irish women....non merci.

Don't mention Latinos I have a very unhealthy addiction to those beautiful creatures.