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Thread: Alcohol consumption warning

  1. #1
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    Default Alcohol consumption warning

    If the government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, the following might be more appropriate

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may

    cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.

    be a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

    lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

    cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your fucking head in.

    cause you to thay things like thish.

    cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Xmas party.

    may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants, or (panties) anyway.

    cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you cannot remember).

    be the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on one's forehead (or knees)

    create the illusion that you are tougher, more handsome, and smarter than some really, really, really BIG biker guy named "Big Al."

    make you think you are whispering when you are not.

    make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting all over them.

    lead you to believe you are invisible.

    lead you to think people are laughing WITH you, not AT you.

    cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

    actually cause pregnancy.
    Last edited by Forrest; 11-01-11 at 03:49.

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  3. #2

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    LOL!!!! I LOVE it!!! hahaha! funny, but SO true!

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    Forrest (12-01-11)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Forrest View Post
    If the government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor, the following might be more appropriate

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may, in Ireland

    cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.

    be a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

    lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

    cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your fucking head in.

    cause you to thay things like thish.

    cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Xmas party.

    may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants, or (panties) anyway.

    cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you cannot remember).

    be the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on one's forehead (or knees)

    create the illusion that you are tougher, more handsome, and smarter than some really, really, really BIG biker guy named "Big Al."

    make you think you are whispering when you are not.

    make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting all over them.

    lead you to believe you are invisible.

    lead you to think people are laughing WITH you, not AT you.

    cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

    actually cause pregnancy.
    Fixed that for you.

    RETURNING TO THE EMERALD ISLE SHORTLY
    ❤❤❤❤

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    Quote Originally Posted by Violette View Post
    Fixed that for you.
    Thanks Violette. I thought you might have included England in that too

    I am surprised no one noticed the omission of the following:
    Consumption of alcohol may cause irrational, abusive, confrontational or, sometimes, amusing posts on E-I
    Last edited by Forrest; 11-01-11 at 18:29.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Forrest View Post
    Thanks Violette. I thought you might have included England in that too

    I am surprised no one noticed the omission of the following:
    Consumption of alcohol may cause irrational, abusive, confrontational or, sometimes, amusing posts on E-I
    Some of the most amusing posts have been due to the afluence of incahol !

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    Forrest (12-01-11)

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    Quote Originally Posted by dave1dave View Post
    Some of the most amusing posts have been due to the afluence of incahol !
    Alcohol, the cause of and solution too all of lifes little problems
    Join the E-I Fantasy Football League

    http://www.escort-ireland.com/boards...ntasy-Football

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    Quote Originally Posted by Forrest View Post
    Thanks Violette. I thought you might have included England in that too

    I am surprised no one noticed the omission of the following:
    Consumption of alcohol may cause irrational, abusive, confrontational or, sometimes, amusing posts on E-I
    Ok then here you goL English, Scottish, and Irish.

    RETURNING TO THE EMERALD ISLE SHORTLY
    ❤❤❤❤

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    Quote Originally Posted by Doozer View Post
    Alcohol, the cause of and solution too all of lifes little problems
    Has only ever given me big problems .: doc
    Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
    People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do .: doc

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    Quote Originally Posted by dr love View Post
    Has only ever given me big problems .: doc
    Doc your not supposed to be drinking before surgery
    Join the E-I Fantasy Football League

    http://www.escort-ireland.com/boards...ntasy-Football

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    Quote Originally Posted by Doozer View Post
    Doc your not supposed to be drinking before surgery
    Feck that's where I was going wrong . I taught they were really sick . Thanks mr doozer .: doc
    Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
    People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do .: doc

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