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Thread: Cant forget Paws......................................

  1. #1
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    Dec 2006
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    Smile Cant forget Paws......................................

    Folks
    I'd like to sing a song about the American Dream
    About me
    About you
    About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottoms of our chests
    About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
    Or maybe below the cockles
    Maybe in the sub-cockle area
    Maybe in the liver
    Maybe in the kidneys
    Maybe even in the colon
    We don't know

    I'm just a regular joe
    With a regular job
    I'm your average white
    Suburbanite slob
    I like football, and porno, and books about war
    I've got an average house
    With a nice hardwood floor
    My wife, and my job
    My kids, and my car
    My feet on my table
    And a Cuban cigar
    But sometimes that just ain't enough
    To keep a man like me interested
    Oh no, no way, uh uhh
    No, I gotta go out and have fun
    At someone else's expense
    Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah

    I drive really slow
    In the ultra-fast lane
    While people behind me are going insane

    I'm an asshole
    (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole
    (he's an asshole, such an asshole)

    I use public toilets
    And I piss on the seat
    I walk around in the summer time sayin', "How about this heat?"

    I'm an asshole
    (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole
    (he's the worlds biggest asshole)

    Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces
    While handicapped people
    Make handicapped faces

    I'm an asshole
    (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole
    (he's a real fucking asshole)

    Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song
    Ranting and raving and carrying on
    Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
    ...
    NAAAHHHHH!

    [I'm An Asshole lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

    I'm an asshole
    (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole
    (he's the world's biggest asshole)

    You know what I'm gonna do?
    I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadilac El Dorado Convertable
    Hot pink!
    With whale skin hub caps
    An all leather cow interior
    And big brown baby seal eyes for headlights
    YEAH!
    And I'm gonna drive around in that baby
    At 115 miles per hour
    Getting one mile per gallon
    Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers
    And when I'm done sucking down those grease-ball burgers
    I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
    And then I'm gonna toss the Styrofoam containers right out the side
    And there ain't a Goddamn thing anybody can do about it
    You know why?
    'Cause we got the bombs, that's why!
    Two words: Nuclear Fuckin' Weapons
    Okay!?
    Russia, Germany, Romania
    They can have all the Democracy they want
    They can have a big Democracy cake walk
    Right through the middle of Tienemen Square
    And it won't make a lick of difference
    Because we got the bombs
    Okay!?
    John Wayne's not dead
    He's frozen!
    And as soon as we find a cure for cancer We're gonna thaw out "The Duke"
    And he's gonna be pretty pissed off
    You know why?
    Have you ever taken a cold shower?
    Well, multiply that by 15 million times
    That's how pissed off "The Duke"'s gonna be
    I'm gonna get "The Duke"
    And John Cassavetes
    And Lee Marvin
    And Sam Peckinpah
    And a case of whiskey
    And drive down to Texas
    And-
    (Hey, Hey! You know you really are an asshole)
    Why don't you just shut-up and sing the song, pal?
    You know, the whole time I thought I was that asshole
    And it turns out it was him
    What an asshole!

    I'm an asshole
    (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole
    (he's the worlds biggest asshole)

    A - SS - HO - LE!
    Everybody!!
    A - SS - HO - LE!

    *dog barking noises*

    I'm an asshole and proud of it!

    Sincerely,
    West.........................
    .....................................................Side.

  2. #2
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    Talking Question???

    west STATEMENT : 10-06-07, 09:54 PM

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    "goodbye commuinity and God bless. No longer have the time for the place (and no i wont be back) not for a long time anyway. Take care and have a happy life although i kinda doubt it with some here. If i have touched your life in any small way then you havent touched mine at all

    And of course.............if youve enjoyed yourselves half as much as me...........then ive enjoyed myself twice as much as you..............

    Sincerely and Most Wholeheartedly Affectionate,
    Westside."

    BIGPAWS QUESTION : "Could you please define (considering your previous goodbyes forever speeches!) how long a "long time" is west???????????

    Thanks,
    Paws"

    ANSWER : A "long time/forever", according to west, is ................. 11 DAYS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! hahahahahahahaha

    Welcome back west ....................... bit of a Denis Leary fan myself by the way!!!

    Paws for thought

  3. #3
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    Dec 2006
    Posts
    2,646

    Default Simply put...............................................................

    Quote Originally Posted by bigpaws View Post
    west STATEMENT : 10-06-07, 09:54 PM

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    "goodbye commuinity and God bless. No longer have the time for the place (and no i wont be back) not for a long time anyway. Take care and have a happy life although i kinda doubt it with some here. If i have touched your life in any small way then you havent touched mine at all

    And of course.............if youve enjoyed yourselves half as much as me...........then ive enjoyed myself twice as much as you..............

    Sincerely and Most Wholeheartedly Affectionate,
    Westside."

    BIGPAWS QUESTION : "Could you please define (considering your previous goodbyes forever speeches!) how long a "long time" is west???????????

    Thanks,
    Paws"

    ANSWER : A "long time/forever", according to west, is ................. 11 DAYS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! hahahahahahahaha

    Welcome back west ....................... bit of a Denis Leary fan myself by the way!!!

    Paws for thought

    Outright flattened ,speechless, reverting to the past and trying to come up with something.

    You'll get there,
    Westside.

  4. #4
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    Cool Bact To The Future!!!!

    It's not the past when history keeps repeating it self west and we both know you won't last long here.
    You'll give your "goodbye forever" speech .................... then turn up a couple days later as if nothing happened and hope nobody notices?!?!?!?! We have a name for people like you were I come from ................ sad bastard!!

    Paws for thought

  5. #5
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    Dec 2006
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    Smile Wrong again...............................................................

    Quote Originally Posted by bigpaws View Post
    It's not the past when history keeps repeating it self west and we both know you won't last long here.
    You'll give your "goodbye forever" speech .................... then turn up a couple days later as if nothing happened and hope nobody notices?!?!?!?! We have a name for people like you were I come from ................ sad bastard!!

    Paws for thought
    hope nobody notices??? hahhah thats funny shit. Do you really think id tell people if i was going?? Hardly.
    ITs a great crack though when i did it once and came back and some of the responses. Well heheheheheh. Said i do again, and again and guess what? The same people bit the bullet again and again, tendering fondling my daddy bags and saying ah Westie ,ah Westie.


    Come back West,
    Westside.

  6. #6
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    Cool Ah .............

    .................. I see west, you were only joking!!! haha You weren't really throwing tantrums and being a little girl, you were just having a laugh!!
    You're so full of shit ............. you're like a deer caught in the headlights and you don't which way to run!! Try facing up to what you are and the reasons why you are the way you are instead of constantly lying ................ in short try growing a pair!!!!

    Paws for thought

  7. #7
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    Default

    Were ye the only two on the forum back then lol
    Last edited by An don; 23-10-10 at 22:51.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to An don For This Useful Post:

    johnmurphy (23-10-10)

  9. #8
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by An don View Post
    Were ye the only two on the forum back then lol
    doing a bit of bumping of you own i see

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to johnmurphy For This Useful Post:

    An don (23-10-10)

  11. #9
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    Default

    i have to agree with westide again

    westside you are an asshole

  12. #10
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    Default

    Right, you two, An Don and JM, behave. If you are going to do any slagging you should do it on what has been said today and recently, not three year old threads.
    Last edited by lucy chambers; 23-10-10 at 22:59.
    If life gives you lemons ask for Tequila

    Only sad bastards seek gratification from signatures

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