Married Bliss

[Forrest]

[AmantAmant365]

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth every penny..

[AmantAmant365]

Why get married?

Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house!

[Forrest]

OMG thats brilliant!!!!!

Glad you liked it Sarah.

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Ryan"
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Ryan Jay Robinson. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Ryan Jay Robinson, every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Ryan Jay Robinson. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Ryan Jay Robinson, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Ryan, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Ryan Jay Robinson."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Ryan. He died. I'm married to his widow."

[emmasweet]

On New Year's Eve, a woman stood up at a local pub and said it was time to get ready for the midnight countdown.
At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to stand next to the one person who made his life worth living.
As the clock struck midnight, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

[Clueless]

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth every penny..

A friend of mine was considering the option of hiring a hitman rather than going through the divorce proceedings on the basis that it was much cheaper- lucky enough she is still alive and he is a not so poor man

[Forrest]

[Red79]

Lonely hearts :

Lonely middle aged farmer, seeks wife for lonely nights.
Must have own tractor.

Photograph of tractor would be appreciated!

[emmasweet]

Seen in my local paper's "readers sales" section.
FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of encyclopaedia Britannica.
45 Volumes. Excellent condition.
£1000 pounds or best offer.
Reason for sale:- No longer required.
Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.

[Forrest]

Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children.
After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children.
A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away.
At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together."
Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband,
or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."



I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards".
I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.