Marriage is an attempt to turn a night owl into a homing pigeon!


A man was lamenting to the bartender that he met his wife in a brothel.
"You shouldn't be so unhappy about it," the barman said, "It's actually really romantic."
"Oh, yeah?" replied the guy. "Well, I thought she was home taking care of the kids and
she thought I was bowling. And to clinch it all, the madame wouldn't give me my money
back and refused to give me another girl."



A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his grumpy wife
waiting for him with a rolling pin. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked.
"You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he said. "I've just lost you in a card game."
"How did you manage to do that, genius?" she asked sarcastically.
"It wasn't easy, to be honest," he told her. "I had to fold with a royal flush."