Married Bliss

[Forrest]

If you want to know who is really man’s best friend, put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car,
come back an hour later, open the trunk, and see which one is happy to see you.


A man is at work one day, when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
The man knows his co-worker to be a conservative guy, and is curious about his sudden change in fashion sense.
The man walks up and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”
The co-worker responds sheepishly, “Don’t make such a big deal out of this, it’s only an earring.”
The man falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So how long have you been wearing one?”
The co-worker responds, “Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”

[Forrest]

Fire swept the plains and burned down the farmer’s barn. While he surveyed the wreckage, his wife called their insurance
company and asked them to send a check for $75,000, the amount of insurance on the barn.
“We don’t give you the money,” a company official explained. “We replace the barn and all the equipment in it.”
“In that case,” replied the wife, “cancel the policy I have on my husband.”


Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married,
and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

[emmasweet]

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don't know,some dumb bitch asking if the coast is clear."

[Forrest]

Man to friend: ‘When did you first realise your wife had stopped loving you?’
Friend: ‘When she pushed me through the window, and wrote for an ambulance.’


He was in a position to marry anyone he pleased.
Unfortunately he didn’t 'please' anyone.

[emmasweet]

One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.


“What’s the matter?” the bartender asks.


wife


“My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and now she isn’t talking to me for a whole 31 days.”


The bartender thought about this for a while. “But, isn’t it a good thing that she isn’t talking to you?” asked the bartender.


“Yeah, except today is the last night.”

[emmasweet]

Q: Whats the difference between love and marriage?
A: Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.


Q: What kind of rings do men need for marriage

A1: Engagement Ring
A2: Wedding Ring
A3: Suffe-Ring
A4: Endu-Ring

[emmasweet]

[emmasweet]

Wife to husband: ‘When I married you, you said you had an ocean-going yacht!’
Husband: ‘Shut up and row.’


The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.

[Forrest]

That is sooooooooooo funny, Emma You are truly wicked

[emmasweet]