There are three stages in marriage:
1. Early. You like it best when your wife wanks you off, then fucks you.
2. Intermediate. You like it best when your wife lets you fuck her, so you don't have to have a wank.
3. Long-term. You like it best when your wife fucks off, so you can have a wank.
A bloke says to his wife 'bend over and we'll try the social security position'.
She says 'what the ruddy ell is that'.
He says 'when my balls touch your arse, you're getting the full benefit'.
The most common form of marriage proposal:
"YOU'RE WHAT!?"