In my opinion, the best thing to do is to go pilfering from the sex shops in capel street. deedin, i do rembering my own youth, when i used to going inside in said sex shops, and rob the fuckers blind, then go home and pull myself asunder, until i ran out of jungle juice.
Failing that, i suggest you ask a local law enforcement officer, i believe they are known as "the filth" or if you are in a more upmarket area "dirty bastard coppers"