What's a crush???

[Nicole]

I think you should go for it Luther... let her know you like her... whats the worst that can happen? she says no.. yes it will be a let down but at least you will know then... where as if you say nothing you may regret it forever... nothing worse than thinking of what you should have and could have said ... believe me.... its to late when she has moved on... take the chance while its there...

Captain J...

Totally agree with Captain J.
Be brave , girl's like guy's who know what they want. in worst scenario she will say NO, at least you will know and you can move on to another crush.

[Westsidex]

This was brought to my mind earlier by the lovely Sensual Delights.......



Is it just a passing admiration or infatuation with somone???



She's out of the country for the last while but due back soon, and I thought while she was gone the feelings would fade, and they kind of had. I guess I'd just convinced myself that it was just a crush and nothing would ever come of it, but recent her name came up in conversation and a mutual friend, in a kind of passing way said "she had such a crush on you" and it really made me think.........

I'd just put it down to a crush, she really is lovely, a man couldn't help but like her or have a crush on her, she's just that type of girl, but since our friend made the remark I've started thinking about her again. We've had a bit of contact since she was away, initiated by her, kinda out of the blue, I didn't want to bother her when she wasn't around, and I guess I've never stopped thinking about her but now all this had really brought it back into my mind again........

Like I say, I never thought this girl would have any interest in me, but apparently I can't tell the difference between when a girl likes me or is flirting with me and when they're just a friend or being nice, this drove my last girlfriend mad apparently.........

What's a man to do???...........Can most people tell the difference??? Do you know when it's just a crush, or what a crush is???

Ladies, it's not as easy as you think.............

What the hell is a crush???

I think its when you mix different fruits together to drink.

I thought I had a crush on a lovely girl I know a while back, but I thought it as just that, a crush, and I never acted in it. We knew each other quite well, spent some time together, enjoyed each others company but never thought she had, or would have any interest in me, I have issues with self confidence etc.......

How do you know she isnt saying the same thing?

apparently I can't tell the difference between when a girl likes me or is flirting with me and when they're just a friend or being nice,

Who cares? Dont try to tell. If you like a girl then keep in touch and see how things go. Give it time. I think everyone, men and women alike, have this issue of not being able to tell the difference and most would rather assume its just being flirty or friendly etc but the problem with this is that they will never know or take that chance.

I dont believe in crushes anymore than i believe in the tooth fairy or santa. I think you either like someone or not. As long as you dont do something to drive them away (getting infatuated, panicking, pressure, asking 1000000000's of questions etc) , then see how it goes.

Look at it like this. You already know each other, already acquainted with each other so my advice is throw a hint of say telling her you like to meet her more often. She will understand and get what your saying. If she doesnt respond or keeps it like it is ,dont panic and just accept it and dont change a thing as you really never know what will happen down the line.

no pressure and no rush,
Westside.

[Sensual Delights]

I had a few very notable crushes in my life. Some of them ended badly. Some of them were lots of fun.
But the only ones I regret are the ones that I didn't follow trough.

I was working years ago in a place where I met a hunky young scandinavian team lead.
I liked everything about him. My desk was next to the printer and I swear to god, I was melting every time when he came over yo pick up his papers.

But I never showed him a thing.

Meeting him outside for a smoke, I would acknowledge his presence quickly and then move away.
When he gave me a lift home once, after a soccer game, I was paralised with emotion and I didn't speak a word other then "thanks" and "see ya". The examples could go on but I think you got the idea.

When a colleague was leaving, a leaving party was organised.
He came to me a few times and asked if I will be going to. I barely could look at him when I said I won't be going ...

When I left that place of employment, I heard from others that this guy had a crush on me !!!!
Imagine how stupid I felt for never ever allowing myself to go for it.

I think the reason we don't want to go sometimes for our crushes is an exagerated fear of rejection and the idea that we look like fools in front of the other party. But too much pride has its adverse effects and we keep thinking for years what it would have been


Crushes are addictive - they make life exciting, and give you hope and focus.
This is why we should let ourselves make the same mistakes over and over again.
This is the thrill of the chase, except that often it's more of a loiter!

Often crushes are formed on the unobtainable, most of those crushes have no hope in hell to ever becoming a loving relationship. But if you don't want to spend a lot of time in the future thinking "what if", I would also suggest you go for it.

[Westsidex]

[QUOTE=Sensual Delights;272960]

the idea that we look like fools in front of the other party.

which is hardly ever the case. In fact it shows guts ,confidence etc. In fact even if its initial rejection you could still win over the other person by responding calmly and moving on. A person cant help but admire someone who knows what they want and goes after that in a controlled manner. Its highly admirable.

Westside.

[luther]

Thank you all for the good advice, opinions and stories. Keep em comin..........

[sagitarius133]

hi Luther,

Reading your post made me think of a comment a female colleague told me recently.

first of all you need to know that I'm a foreigner, Belgian to be precise, and that I am working here in Dublin with a lot of other foreigners in a kind of international call center. My female colleague (Dutch) and I were discussing what an impression we had of Irisch people.
She told me that she had some irisch boyfriends but that they all were kind of afraid to really ask her to go a bit further than the simple kiss. She had to take the initiative.
I think you fit well in this image.
So my advice to you would be ... call her and ask her when she's back or when you can visit her, let her know your feelings.
Irisch men are too shy sometimes.

[luther]

hi Luther,

Reading your post made me think of a comment a female colleague told me recently.

first of all you need to know that I'm a foreigner, Belgian to be precise, and that I am working here in Dublin with a lot of other foreigners in a kind of international call center. My female colleague (Dutch) and I were discussing what an impression we had of Irisch people.
She told me that she had some irisch boyfriends but that they all were kind of afraid to really ask her to go a bit further than the simple kiss. She had to take the initiative.
I think you fit well in this image.
So my advice to you would be ... call her and ask her when she's back or when you can visit her, let her know your feelings.
Irisch men are too shy sometimes.

I think you might be right. I'd say many Irish men fit into this box throught fear of rejection, which I guess has to be overcome by perhaps sheer curiosity..........

[bhoywonder]

i have had many, many crushes before. i seem to fall in love at the drop of a hat. havent acted on all of them. was seeing this one girl up til recently. liked her for years. but she was either going out with someone or i was. but we kept bumping into each other out and we always had a blast together. anyway when we got together she told me that she had liked me for years too. i was stunned. like you luther i have some self confidence issues, and im poor at picking up on the signals. anyway we had a short time together. was fun but it just wasnt to be. such is life but im glad it happened and at least idon't have to think 'what might have been...'