The wizard of oz

[benin]

we still need a wicked witch of the west any takers?

[vampirejackie]

we still need a wicked witch of the west any takers?

Sounds good for me at the moment! Im evil! lol

[Mousey]

we still need a wicked witch of the west any takers?

Patricia, surely She can work from home!

[benin]

ok now we have 2 possiable witches...but i find both to hot to call them wicked...mary harney is still odds on

[JAMESCORK]

How about Donna...not only is she wicked but she looks wicked too.

Theres your witch.

[WD-40]

Wont hav da impact that the original did,not a lot people take lsd these days, i audtioned for the tin man myself but i cry lubricant so i was told to f*#k off. Awell maybe il get a role wen chitty chitty bang bang is remade.

[Cable87]

Gentleman, I must suggest myself to play the Tin Man, I'm already partially cybernetic, afterall!!

[benin]

Gentleman, I must suggest myself to play the Tin Man, I'm already partially cybernetic, afterall!!

ok cable your our new tinman...and wd-40 ill keep you in mind for chitty chitty bang bang when filming starts..sadly mary harney has refused to play the wicked witch because 2 of the munchkins(debest and jamescork)made her feel thin when she looked at them ...ok vampire jackie the position is yours.
We have to address amy and the way she is abusing her position as leading lady yesterday she kicked toto between the legs because he fetched her the times instead of the independent ffs amy and cable if your going to pass the stuffing to amy will you be carefull ffs.....

[JAMESCORK]

Well shooting started to day and I must say it was anything but productive.

Firstly Benny was hopeless as director as he was stuck in his laptop all day muttering something about lack of recognition for 2000 something or others so I had to take on his role as well as my own. Wasn’t easy cos Debest didn’t show and myself and Navi had to do the whole Munchkin thing without him. As it happens it didn’t matter too much as Ben was reluctant to give him any lines anyway. Ber, cast as the Good Witch of the South, them came on set with his pedestal trying to convert us all to Buddhism and generally got in the way. Jeeze Ber… we are still in Kansas buddy your scene isn’t till later. All was going well until Westie, given the job of the hurricane special effects blew down the entire set with all his hot air, FFS. Nobody knew Amy was wearing a wig until Westie blew it off, she was well pissed. I thought Samlads pooch was doing quite well as Toto, but Amy, the little diva, kept kicking him in the nuts for upstaging her.

Things got progressively worse as Anon couldn’t get his lines right. He insisted on belting out “if only I had a conscience…”, FFS Anon its “if only I had a HEART…” read the script man….. I must say though, NGAN played a stormer, brain or not, he was excellent as Scarecrow, and showed a lot of us up with his professionalism.

Casting Wellhungchap as a love interest for Amy (Dorothy) was a stroke of genius. He was fantastic in his role. In the scene where Dorothy was a bit disoriented and confused after Westies hurricane he jumped in and took good advantage of her dishevelled clothing with gusto. Unfortunately VJ, who is not on till scene 4, having seen his rampant manhood, decided to join in trying to adlib her wicked character and generally spoiled the plot turning it into more of a group orgy than the scene required. She had to be forcibly removed from the set. We are now looking for a new Wicked Witch of the West.


To make matters worse, Ber only just realizing that film is actually moving PICTURES decided he was having none of it and grabbed the camera off Luther and dramatically pulled out the reel, exposing the entire days shoot. To top it all Fussy came on set examining equity cards only to find Anons’ was out of date. Don’t worry Anon your legal fees will be covered. Mousey, for now will take over from Anon, not quite the same, but its all we have at short notice.

Poggo just stood by in his silly wooden tree suit and let all this happen…

May I take this moment to ask Lucy Cambers to stop PMing Benny, he is otherwise occupied at the moment and frankly he does not think you would be suitable as Dorothy. The part requires a sweet innocent little Kansas girl who befriends interesting characters on her quest to see the Wiz. The fact that you are willing to play any role no matter what it entails doesn’t quite fit this production. Please PM me privately as I may have a role for you in a project that I am starring myself in. Thank you.

Filming will continue tomorrow. Donna is required to re-audition as The Wicked Witch only if she can tone down her wickedness. Westcorklad is asked to attend, as he is the biggest wanker on EI, to replace Wellhung who disappeared after Jackie was removed from set.

P.s. Cable… would you mind loosening WD-40s nuts please you are NOT currently cast as Tinman and he cannot partake in the tight condition he is in.

All cast on set at 07:00 tomorrow morning please..and don’t be late…

[Lucy Chambers]

Ace. Absolutely Ace. I will stop sending the messages, I am sorry. I felt the shoe would fit LOL.


Ps...Can I maybe be the witch? I will be good, I promise.