So Much For Marriage

[ber]

What does "had regrets" mean? I would think getting married is like any other major decision, with both advantages and disadvantages. Anyone who claims not to have any regrets is either not thinking clearly or just lying. If 20% wish they hadn't got married, on the other hand, then there is clearly a problem. It would be useful to know how the question was worded.

Yes the impression i got from it is that the 20% wouldnt marry if they had the decision over again, but it didnt
mean that they were all about to leave the marriage even though some were. The regrets expressed were serious
misgiving not for example arguments over who got the remote



Marriage is an institution ,but not everyone wants to live in an institution

[aml]

Yes the impression i got from it is that the 20% wouldnt marry if they had the decision over again, but it didnt
mean that they were all about to leave the marriage even though some were. The regrets expressed were serious
misgiving not for example arguments over who got the remote



Marriage is an institution ,but not everyone wants to live in an institution

In the end its the little things that ruin most marraiges that snowball into bigger things the longer a marraige lasts....

[ber]

In the end its the little things that ruin most marraiges that snowball into bigger things the longer a marraige lasts....

Get a second TV

save a marriage

[El Gordo]

Yes the impression i got from it is that the 20% wouldnt marry if they had the decision over again, but it didnt
mean that they were all about to leave the marriage even though some were. The regrets expressed were serious
misgiving not for example arguments over who got the remote



Marriage is an institution ,but not everyone wants to live in an institution

What percentage thought getting married was a good idea, but that they had just got married to the wrong person?

[ber]

What percentage thought getting married was a good idea, but that they had just got married to the wrong person?

Probably the majority of people think the concept of marriage is a good one if u marry the right person
But therin lies the snag
The odds are prob stacked against u finding him/her


I dont particularly like the odds so thats mainly why i retain the status i do

[BootSlick55]

Kierkegaard wrote:

"Marry, and you will regret it. Do not marry, and you will also regret it. Marry or do not marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the stupidities of the world, and you will regret it; weep over them, and you will also regret it. Laugh at the stupidities of the world or weep over them, you will regret it either way. Trust a girl, and you will regret it. Do not trust her, and you will also regret it. Trust a girl or do not trust her, you will regret it either way. Hang yourself, and you will regret it. Do not hang yourself, and you will also regret it. Hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret it either way."
from Either/Or 1843

It is probably true.

[ber]

Kierkegaard wrote:

"Marry, and you will regret it. Do not marry, and you will also regret it. Marry or do not marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the stupidities of the world, and you will regret it; weep over them, and you will also regret it. Laugh at the stupidities of the world or weep over them, you will regret it either way. Trust a girl, and you will regret it. Do not trust her, and you will also regret it. Trust a girl or do not trust her, you will regret it either way. Hang yourself, and you will regret it. Do not hang yourself, and you will also regret it. Hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret it either way."
from Either/Or 1843

It is probably true.

The only part i would really disagree with is Hang ureself and u will regret it cause ure dead then and u can regret no more


Death is final

[Sensual Delights]

You could always live together with a partner before deciding to get married or not.
Long enough to see if your relationship is better for it or not - or at least worth the troubles or boredom that's going to bring.

The way some of you are talking here is like you just take the woman on a few dates and then you go straight ahead and marry her. What are the chances for that to work I wonder

But when you live with someone for more then 6 months, sometimes much longer, you get to know the real person.
Not the one that you think she / he is, the actual person. If you don't like what you see, just leave or demand the other person to leave, whatever the case might be. There is no alimony to pay, no goods to split, no mortgage etc ...

If it's all good, nothing is stopping you to plan your marriage, which has now much better chances to work. I am not saying it will work 100% because nothing is guaranteed in this world (other then dying ) but you will have actual real chances to never regret your doing.

Even if you decide not to get married, it doesn't matter much in this ideal compatible situation. Unless maybe a child comes along and you want to give the kid a proper family and a sense of security.

[ber]

You could always live together with a partner before deciding to get married or not.
Long enough to see if your relationship is better for it or not - or at least worth the troubles or boredom that's going to bring.

The way some of you are talking here is like you just take the woman on a few dates and then you go straight ahead and marry her. What are the chances for that to work I wonder

But when you live with someone for more then 6 months, sometimes much longer, you get to know the real person.
Not the one that you think she / he is, the actual person. If you don't like what you see, just leave or demand the other person to leave, whatever the case might be. There is no alimony to pay, no goods to split, no mortgage etc ...

If it's all good, nothing is stopping you to plan your marriage, which has now much better chances to work. I am not saying it will work 100% because nothing is guaranteed in this world (other then dying ) but you will have actual real chances to never regret your doing.

Even if you decide not to get married, it doesn't matter much in this ideal compatible situation. Unless maybe a child comes along and you want to give the kid a proper family and a sense of security.

I think the problem her is the actual finality of marriage, many of the people in the survey im sure were already
cohabitating but once u put on that ring it changes the whole thing. In reality escape from the relationship was
but the packing of a bag away before marriage afterwards not so easy. Ure after totally committing to the relationship
now. I think u also have the scenario where partners expect different things from each other once they marry,it ups
the ante so to speak and they may feel now that they are entitled to more input into even the other partners
personal decisions. Personally i know of several relationships where people seemed to living happily together until
the ring went on and then the cracks started to appear. I reckon maybe people dont work as hard as they should
at the relationship either because they kinda relax and say sur i have him/her now. As they say familiarity breeds
contempt

[Sensual Delights]

As they say familiarity breeds contempt

That's true as well but I am actually surprised about that living together for a long time doesn't seem to help in your case.

I was living together with a few guys back home (not with all in the same time, lol).
For the very best of them, the average time I needed to really get to know them and make up my mind I never want to marry them was about 2 years. With the others, I would realise much faster they are not really for me.

Maybe is just my mind working differently here.