Once upon a time, there was this little bird living in Ireland. Now, unlike all the other little birds who migrate south for the winter, he had left it a little late. So when he took to the skies, it was already getting very cold. As he was flying over Mullingar, the temperature started to drop suddenly and as his wings started to freeze up, he was forced to take refuge on the ground. The ground was however frozen solid and he could find no food or shelter and gradually started to fade away from hypothermia.
As he lay on the frozen ground, a passing cow (no Mullingar heifer jokes please) not noticing the still bird, decided to take a dump where he lay in the field. In no time, the little bird was covered in cow dung. The warm dung started to revive the little bird and as heat started to reenter his body, he started to chirp and sing in happiness. A passing cat hearing the bird sound emanating from the cow dung decided to investigate. Slowly the cat pawed at the dung, until she located the source of the sound and then promptly ate the little bird.
This modern fable has three important lessons:
1. Somebody who gets you into the shit is not necessarily your enemy.
2. Somebody who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.
3. And if you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your f**king mouth shut.