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Thread: Funny one liners...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    Every where and no where, im a touring escort
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    Wink Funny one liners...

    Guy's I need to admit, yes there is a recession going on! In most country's people are over the shock.. In Ireland its diffrant, they will keep telling it, and put it in you're face for the next coming decade. Like people where telling me in 2007 'In the 80th there was a recession...'
    So when people are getting rude on the phone, and girls annoyed, I get to hear a view one liners,

    So i will kick off with a view,

    - he says: Are you open?

    - Can I come for the half of the price? Im just 8 cm, normal size is 16cm...

    - Hi girl whats up? You know me from msn, nice you are in my town wanna come and visit you, but im broke... but we speak sometimes online can you give me a free bee?, We are friends and they help each other out?

    - Hi georgiuose wanna have sex with a young pretty boy? Its all for free!

    - Is it you in the video?

    - Are you shore you are a black girl?

    - Sins when do black girls come from The Netherlands?

    - Are that you're breast? (Duhh!)

    - What collar is your vagina?

    - Are you a virgine? I like virgin's ( me; I love virgin's to but prefer what stronger in my drink)

    - Do you want me to come to you for funn?

    - You are beautiful, but i don't pay more than 25,- for 30 min plessure! I know someone for 15 euro's (L.O.L)

    -What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak

    - What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

    -How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.

    - What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig? A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.

    A good friend about his ex:
    What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    Default

    On a cold, cold night two bulls are standing in a field. One says "Boy it's mighty cold out here!", the other says "Yes, I think I might slip into a nice Jersey".

    If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster. What would you have?
    2 ft. of my cock in your ass.


    heello, iss tthhatt thhee sshhoop iii boouugghht thhee vviibbrrattorr ffrroomm. yes. ccaann yyoouu tteell mmee hhooww ttoo ttuurrnn tthhee ffuucckkiinngg tthhiinngg ooffff.

    Why are men like cars?
    Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.
    Once a prick - always a prick.

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    North Korea
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    Hi Gorgeous, do you fuck on first dates

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by anon361 View Post
    hi gorgeous, do you fuck on first dates
    worst one liner ever..

  5. #5
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    whooo its a funny one i think the guy in question just dialed the number without check the pics.....
    Good bye Ireland!

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by EscortSelina View Post
    This is the worst one liner ever. I just had a booking, so the gents comes in and says "ohhh i didn't realise you were a black girl i'm nervous now" He then heads for the door and leaves. Never in all the years i have been an escort has this happened to me.

    Ok so, tell me am i missing something? The last time i looked my pictures were of a black woman....

    Yours

    A very miffed Selina
    You can take the good from a bad situation, maybe a different guy was so impressed with you he gave your number to a mate and said go see this lady, she is a fantastic lady

  7. #7
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    Once someone told me ohhh i thought u are blonde I expected a blonde girl.... worse excuse
    Good bye Ireland!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    Omg, hahah Selina.. thats the worst one ever to happen...

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    a funny one liner..........

  10. #10

    Red face

    Guy meets girl at the bar


    Guy says: If you and i were the last two people on earth... would you do me?
    Girl says: no way!!
    Guy says (seriously): well then love..who's gona stop me!?

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