A duck walks into a pub and
Orders a pint and a sandwich
The barman is amazed
He asks the duck what brings him to town
“I’m a plasterer” replies the duck
The barman can’t get over the talking duck
Later on as the duck is getting ready to leave
He starts to chat to the duck again
“You should go to the circus, they are always looking for talent”
The duck just stares at him
“The circus” he said, “yes” said the puzzled barman
“The place with the big canvas tent” said the duck, “yes” said the barman
“What the fuck would they want with a plasterer” said the duck
emmasweet (27-10-20), ORDINARYJOE (27-10-20)
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
ORDINARYJOE (27-10-20), simplesimon (15-11-20)
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Onelastgo (27-10-20), simplesimon (15-11-20)
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.
Barney Rubble (29-10-20), Onelastgo (27-10-20), ORDINARYJOE (27-10-20), simplesimon (15-11-20)
It’s a good job China don’t have a cricket team
Look at the damage one of their bats did
Barney Rubble (29-10-20)
Joke of the day, week, month....... THE IRISH GOVERNMENT.
for as long as i can remember, i always wanted to be a gangster ....
Wolverine (01-11-20)
Trump has finished and left, but there’s thousands of supporters who have been let loose into the night with no sign of the shuttles they’ve been told will take them back to parking. People are filling the street, blocking the road for ambulances and police.
Last edited by joggon; 01-11-20 at 01:56.
Other opinions are allowed
Age doesn't equal maturity - just look around !
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Other opinions are allowed
Age doesn't equal maturity - just look around !
Unhappy ? press ignore user in settings
Barney Rubble (01-11-20), beautyaddict (01-11-20)