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Thread: Joke of the day

  1. #1421
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    Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
    Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
    After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?'
    The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
    The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
    The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
    The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
    Other opinions are allowed
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  3. #1422
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    Three men all die on Christmas Day and arrive at the pearly gates.
    Peter greets them and tells them that they are all evil men who should go to hell, but because it's Christmas,
    he'll let them into heaven if they have something representing the holiday with them.
    One of the guys has a Christmas ornament, and gets let in. Another guy has pine needles on his shirt, and gets let in.
    The third guy pulls out a pair of panties. "How do those represent Christmas?" asks Peter. "These are Carol's."

    Engaging Personality
    Mesmerising Eyes
    Magnificent Ass
    Adorable Lady
    Sexy, Wicked, Enticing, Erotic, Tease

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  5. #1423
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    there was an earthqake at the christian brothers monastery and it was leveled all fifty brothers were transported to heaven at the one time at the pearly gates st peter said lets go through the entry test as a group now first question how many of you have played around with little boys?"
    forty nine hands went up.
    right said peter you forty-nine can go down to hell oh and take that deaf bastard with you"

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  7. #1424
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    my neighbour obviously does'nt watch porn..She asked me to come fix sink.I have been here for an hour and I am still fixing the Damm sink.

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    Melindablondey (25-12-14)

  9. #1425
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    If you think your wife is too fat then make her walk 5 kms in the morning and 5 kms in the evening
    By the end of the week, the fat bitch will be 50 kms away


    " WE ARE CONNACHT "

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  11. #1426
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    All my missus got me for christmas was a fucking clockwork radio.

    I asked her."is this a wind up?"

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  13. #1427
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    Other opinions are allowed
    Age doesn't equal maturity - just look around !
    Unhappy ? press ignore user in settings


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  15. #1428
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirty Harry View Post
    All my missus got me for christmas was a fucking clockwork radio.

    I asked her."is this a wind up?"
    could have been worse, could have been an orange

  16. #1429
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    I had a quiet New Year's Eve.
    Nothing to drink. tv switched off by 8.00pm.then bed with a long sex session to end the night.

    I fucking hate prison.

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  18. #1430
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    A man was visiting an escort
    As they were doing the deed he asks
    How am I doing, she replied
    3 knots
    Your NOT hard
    Your NOT in and
    Your NOT getting your money back


    " WE ARE CONNACHT "

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    Dirty Harry (15-02-15), KevinACE (06-01-15), Melindablondey (01-01-15), nonpareil (26-03-15)

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