Joke of the day

[jessicabp]

Today Joke :

[xagerate]

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, ‘Is this a union house?’
‘No,’ she replied, ‘I’m sorry it isn’t.’
‘Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?’
‘The house gets $80 and the girls get $20,’ she answered.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, ‘Why yes sir, this is a union house. ‘We observe all union rules.’
The man asked, ‘And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?’ ‘The girls get $80 and the house gets $20..’
‘That’s more like it!’ the union man said.
He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde .

‘I’d like her,’ he said.
‘I’m sure you would, sir,’ said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, ‘but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she’s next.’

[willie wacker]

[willie wacker]

[Barney Rubble]

A farmer buys a rooster to service his 200 hens. When he gets the rooster into the barnyard, he tells him, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Have fun, but take your time."

The farmer points him toward the henhouse and the rooster takes off like a shot.

WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the henhouse, three or four times. Randy runs out and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. WHAM! He nails all the geese. Randy runs to the pigpen, the cow pasture -- soon, he's been on every animal on the farm.

The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day.

Sure enough, the farmer wakes up the next morning to find Randy laid out flat
in the middle of the yard, buzzards circling overhead.

The sad farmer shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself."

Randy opens one eye, winks, and nods towards the sky, "Shhh, they're getting closer.

Ah fuck me I am slow, took the 3rd reading before I got it. Good 1!!!! Z zzzzzzz

[willie wacker]

Ah fuck me I am slow, took the 3rd reading before I got it. Good 1!!!! Z zzzzzzz

Yep I coped it after about 30 sec and then I could not stop laughing
I think it.s one of the best ever

[Barney Rubble]

Yep I coped it after about 30 sec and then I could not stop laughing
I think it.s one of the best ever

Yeah, I must be gettin old,early stages of dementia setting in maybe?
But it was even better after the 3rd reading. Reminds me of the 2 nuns in the bath & the bar of soap!!

[Clueless]

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

[willie wacker]

[jezza]

Say it with flower
........................

When I called at the escort's door, with a big bunch of flowers.

She opened the door, saw the flowers, and dragged me in.

She lays back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says

"This is for the flowers"

"Don't be silly", says I, "You must have a vase somewhere?"