Joke of the day

[joggon]

[whiteball]

A cannibal was walking through the
jungle and came upon a restaurant
operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling
somewhat hungry, he sat down and
looked over the menu.
*grilled Tourist: $5.00
*Fried Explorer: $15.00
* Broiled Missionary: $10.00
*Baked Politician: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and
asked, "Why such a high price for politicians?"
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean
one? They are so full of shit it takes all day!"

[whiteball]

A German Shepherd, a Doberman, and a
cat died.
In heaven all three faced God, who wanted
to know what they believed in.
The German Shepherd said, "I believe in
discipline, training, and loyalty to my master."
"Good!" said God. "Sit at my right side."
"Doberman, what do you believe in?" asked God.
The Doberman answered, "I believe in the love,
and protection of my master."
"Aha," said God. "You may sit to my left."
Then God looked at the cat and asked, "And what
do you believe in?"
The cat replied, "I believe you are sitting in my seat."

[The D Man]

[whiteball]

Jane married Ted and had 13 children.
Her husband, Ted, died of cancer. She
remarried again, and she and Bob had
7 more children. Bob was killed in a car
accident 12 years later.
Jane again remarried, and this time she
and John had 5 more children.
Jane finally died after 25 children. Standing
before her coffin, the preacher preyed for
her. He thanked the love for this loving woman
and said, "Lord they're finally together."
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best
friend Margaret, "Do you think he means her
first, second or third husband?"
Margaret replied, "I think he means her legs
Ethel... Her legs."

[joggon]

[whiteball]

Wife: "What would you do if I died?
Would you get married again?"
Husband: Definitely not!"
Wife: "Why not? Don't you like being
married?"
Husband: "Of course I do..."
Wife: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
Husband: "Okey, Okey, I get married again."
Wife: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
Husband: (makes audible grown)
Wife: "Would you live in our house?"
Husband: "Sure, it's a great house."
Wife: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
Husband: "Where else would we sleep?"
Wife: "Would you let her drive my car?"
Husband: "Probably. It is almost new."
Wife: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
Husband: "That would seem like the proper
thing to do."
Wife: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
Husband: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
Wife: "Would you take her golfing with you?"
Husband: "Yes, those are always good times."
Wife: "Would she use my clubs?"
Husband: "No, she's lift-handed."
Wife: --silence--
Husband: "Shit."

[whiteball]

The police just knocked on my door and
asked, "Where were you around 8.05
last night sir?"
"Funny you should ask," I replied. "I took
the wife upstairs at 8pm to make love."
"Yes officer, that's true," my wife shouted
over, "But god knows where he was at five past."

[whiteball]

..........

[joggon]