Joke of the day

[Clueless]

whats black and white and red all over?





A newspaper

Lest you forget the old ones....

[emmasweet]

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better.
Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!”
The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying.
A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face.
She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”

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Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

[emmasweet]

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round
and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks.
“Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter.
The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?”
The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

[nonpareil]

whats black and white and red all over?





A newspaper

Or a nun that fell down the stairs.


Lest you forget the old ones....

..........

[Clueless]

Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?





A: a $100 bill!

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