Joke of the day

**Forrest** · 22-03-18, 11:12

**emmasweet** · 23-03-18, 00:11

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.
"Of course, my son," said the priest."Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans;
I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.""That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.
"It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man.
"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her;
I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.
"Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?"
"Of course, my son," said the priest. The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?".

**emmasweet** · 17-04-18, 21:18

**willie wacker** · 19-04-18, 10:03

**willie wacker** · 19-04-18, 10:06

The Garda Traffic Corps found over 200 dead crows on the M7 near Limerick recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu.
The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws.
By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars.
The investigators then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike"

**willie wacker** · 20-04-18, 19:49

**cormac12345** · 25-04-18, 19:20

**Forceuser** · 25-04-18, 19:24

**Forceuser** · 26-04-18, 18:40

**SteveB** · 26-04-18, 18:52

There was a young lady from Tottenham,
Who had no manners or else she'd forgotten 'em,
At tea at the Vicar's,
She took off her knickers,
Because, she explained, she felt hot in 'em.

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