Joke of the day

[igor10]

Friend 1 : people do many sacrifices for their children

Friend 2 : don't I know it , I had to sleep with my wife for them 😄😛

[joggon]

[whiteball]

A guy walks into a bar with a monkey.
The monkey grabbed some olives off
the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced limes and
ate them.
He then jumped onto the pooled table
and grabbed one of the balls. To everyone's
amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and
somehow swallowed it whole.
The bartender looked at the guy and said,
"Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...
whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the
guy, "he eats everything in sight don't worry,
I'll pay for the cue ball."
The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for
the stuff the monkey ate and left.
Two weeks later the guy came back and had his
monkey with him. He ordered a drink and the
monkey started running around the bar. The
monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out,
and then ate it.
Then the monkey found a peanut, and again stuck
it up his butt, pulled out, and ate it. The bartender
asked, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a
peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He will eat anything, but ever since he had to shit
out that cue ball, he measures everything first."

[Barney Rubble]

A guy walks into a bar with a monkey.
The monkey grabbed some olives off
the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced limes and
ate them.
He then jumped onto the pooled table
and grabbed one of the balls. To everyone's
amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and
somehow swallowed it whole.
The bartender looked at the guy and said,
"Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...
whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the
guy, "he eats everything in sight don't worry,
I'll pay for the cue ball."
The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for
the stuff the monkey ate and left.
Two weeks later the guy came back and had his
monkey with him. He ordered a drink and the
monkey started running around the bar. The
monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out,
and then ate it.
Then the monkey found a peanut, and again stuck
it up his butt, pulled out, and ate it. The bartender
asked, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man.
"Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a
peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He will eat anything, but ever since he had to shit
out that cue ball, he measures everything first."

Very funny , you're on the ball Sir !

[joggon]

[whiteball]

..........

[whiteball]

There's an old priest who got sick of
all the people in his parish who kept
confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If
I hear one more person confess to
adultery, I'll quit!"
Well, everyone liked him, so they came
up with a code word. Someone who had
committed adultery would say they had
"Fallen."
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and
things went well, until the priest died at a
ripe old age.
About a week after the new priest arrived,
he visited the mayor of the town and seemed
very concerned.
The priest said, "You have to do something
about the sidewalks in town. When people
come into the confessional, they keep talking
about having fallen."
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one
had told the new priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shock
an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't
know what you're laughing about, your wife fell
three times this week."

[whiteball]

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers.
"Hello?"
"Mrs Sanders, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at St. Agnes Laboratory.
When your husband doctor sent his biopsy to the Lab
last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as
well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your
husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."
"What do you mean?" Mrs Sanders asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's
and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which
is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs
Sanders.
"Normally we can, but the new health care system will only pay
for one of these expensive tests."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The folks at Alberta Health recommend that you drop your
husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his
way home, don't sleep with him."

[joggon]

[whiteball]

..........