Joke of the day

[hadaway]

Barney Rubble and Mr SweetGuy were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole, and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working all day furiously without rest, our Barney digging the hole, Mr Sweets filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, “I’m impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don’t get it – why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”

Barney wiped his brow and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-person team. But today Willie Wacher who plants the trees called in sick.'”

[Barney Rubble]

Barney Rubble and Mr SweetGuy were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole, and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working all day furiously without rest, our Barney digging the hole, Mr Sweets filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, “I’m impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don’t get it – why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”

Barney wiped his brow and sighed, “Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we’re normally a three-person team. But today Willie Wacher who plants the trees called in sick.'”

Sounds normal enough, I do all the hard work as usual !

[hadaway]

Father Jack went to the Doctors and said “do you treat alcoholics”, The Doctor replied, “of course we do”……… Jack said “ Great, get your coat on, I’m feckin skint "

[emmasweet]

Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."
Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."


Girl: "Hey, what's up?"
Boy: "If I tell you, will you sit on it?"


Q: Three words to ruin a man's ego...?
A: "Is it in?"

[emmasweet]

Q: What's the difference between being hungry and being horny?
A: Where you put the cucumber.

Q: What do a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common?
A: The more you play with it, the harder it gets!!

[funboy71]

The joys of Married Life .......
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes..

Here’s how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.’ Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and Mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, Black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,
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“What’s for dinner, Zorro?”

[emmasweet]

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?"
Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

[joggon]