Joke of the day

[whiteball]

There was a poetry competition final
with two contestants, a university
student and an old country man.
Thet each had 20 seconds to come up
with a poem about Timbuktu.
The student goes first and says, "Across
the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan,
men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."
The old country man then goes, "Tim and I off hunting
went, found some girls in a pop-up tent, they were three
and we were two and I buck one and Tim buck Two."

[whiteball]

The Peacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies," as his subject.
After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies.
About half held up their hands.
Not satisfied he harangued for another 20 minutes and repeated his question.
This time he received a response of about 80 percent.
Still unsatisfied, he lectured for another 15 minutes and repeated his question.
With all thoughts on Sunday Dinner, all responded except one elderly lady in the
rear.
"Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any."
"Mrs. Jones that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-three."
"Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person
can live to be Ninety-three, and not have an enemy in the world."
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, very slowly turned around
and said: "It's easy I just outlived the bitches."

[joggon]

[joggon]

[joggon]

[joggon]

[whiteball]

Sheila bought a pair of crotchless knickers in an attempt to
spice up her dead sex-life.
She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the
lounge suite opposite Bruce, her husband.
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs and slowly recrosses
them...
Finally, Bruce asks: "Are you wearing crotchless knickers?"
"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.
"Thank Crist for that.... I thought the stuffing was coming out of
the lounge suite."

[joggon]

[joggon]

[Rua]

Geoffrey, a middle-aged British tourist on his first visit to California finds the red light district and enters a large brothel. The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain him.

They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away! Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman.

They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear, and she too screams, "No!" and walks quickly away.

The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with him. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola has never said no, and it's not likely anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Geoffrey's. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, "NO WAY, BUDDY!" and smacks him as hard as she can and leaves.

Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel. She hasn't done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she's sure she has said yes to everything a man could possibly ask for. She just has to find out what this man wants that has made her girls so angry. Besides she sees a chance to teach her employees a lesson.

So she goes over to Geoffrey and says that she's the best in the house and is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic, giggle, drink and then she sits in his lap.

He leans forwards and whispers “can I pay in Sterling?”