Joke of the day

[Rod Stewart]

i use to sniff brake fluid but then i stopped

Fuckin brilliant as always Harry

[anon361]

I went to the doctor the other day, told him I broke my arm in several places, he told me to stop going to those places

[Nyna]

I went to the doctor the other day, told him I broke my arm in several places, he told me to stop going to those places

Oh i am glad that was only the arm ..ermmmmm....

[JAMESCORK]

10 people, guys and girls, decide to leave the mountains. Once there, you get the idea to do an orgy. Gather in a room, turn off the lights and begin. After half an hour, one emerges from that many crowd, light a candle and say: - Oh, let's organize, as it 3rd time when giving blowjobs......

Now Emma I loves ya to bits babe ... But .... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!!!

tee hee.

[JAMESCORK]

A blonde comes from the produced and take the shortcut through a cemetery
There's a vampire and says: I'm a vampire and suck blood!
Blonde goes
Vampire and harder: I'm a vampire and suck blood!
-I suck dicks ... but I brag to all losers!!

Ok ... It's just me ... Right???

[JAMESCORK]

An old man goes to the brothel to offer and he
joy. Leads him to a young matron appetizing and ready for anything.
Sure on it, it says:
- Dude, undressing to get down to serious stuff!
Santa undress and girl takes her clothes and throw them out the window.
- What are you doing, bitch?! salt angry old man.
- Let, man, do not worry, we will do that by morning, they'll love your stay great clothes!
Female undress in turn, and Santa takes his clothes and throw them out the window.
- What are you doing, Dad, take revenge!?
- No, not at all, but my school to me, fashion is changing.....

Ok I'm seriously starting to worry now.

[Mousey]

Blond goes to the doctor, complaining "Doctor, I have pain all over my body."

Doctor says "Show me exactly where you have the pain."

Blonde starts touching various random parts of her body with her finger to show him. "It hurts here, here, here, here, and here. Do you know what's wrong with me?"

"Yeah," says the doctor. "You've broken your finger!"

[imnotscotish]

A Wexford farmer has become the first to grow a field full of Dildos of all shape and sizes. He now has a problem with squatters

[emmasweet]

Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Pepsi Condoms: Ask for more.
Pringles Condoms: You once pop, you can not stop.
M & M Condoms: melt in your mouth not in hand.
Condoms Visa: Not leaving the house without it.
Yahoo condoms: Do you Yahoo?
Duracell condoms: ... last, last, last ...
Microsoft Condoms: Up where you want to go today?
OB Condoms: No moves, no notes, nothing happens.
UEFA Condoms: The Chaaaaampioooooonnnnsss ...
Red Bull condoms: Do you give wings.
Petit suisse Condoms: When I was little, my mother gave me.
McDonald's Condoms: 2x500 offer.
Condoms Nokia: Connecting people.
L'Oreal condoms: Because deserved
Samsung Condoms: Everyone is invited.
Danone Condoms: Do not stop! Do not stop!
Carlsberg Condoms: Probably the best condom in the world.
Condoms Ferrero Rocher: I was craving something sweet.
Condoms Dove: 1 / 4 moisturizing cream.
Condoms CIF: frictionless

[emmasweet]

Johnny asks grandpa : Do you still have sex with granny?
Grandpa says : Yes, but only oral.
Johnny asks : What is oral?
Grandpa says : I say fuck you, she says fuck you too !