Joke of the day

[Julius Caesar]

Yo momma's so dumb she sent me a fax with a stamp on it

[Dirty Harry]

i'm scared of the doctor who lives down the road from me. He collects body parts.he gives me the willies!

[emmasweet]

An old man goes to the brothel to offer and he
joy. Leads him to a young matron appetizing and ready for anything.
Sure on it, it says:
- Dude, undressing to get down to serious stuff!
Santa undress and girl takes her clothes and throw them out the window.
- What are you doing, bitch?! salt angry old man.
- Let, man, do not worry, we will do that by morning, they'll love your stay great clothes!
Female undress in turn, and Santa takes his clothes and throw them out the window.
- What are you doing, Dad, take revenge!?
- No, not at all, but my school to me, fashion is changing.....

[emmasweet]

Finding himself on a trip out of town, husband and wife get into a more isolated, it awakens memories ...
-Look at dear, says his wife, near the fence that I did love the first time ...
Many years have passed, but that would be to do it again here? proposes husband.
There was a wild sex, the wife to the husband very pleasantly surprised with her ​​passionate movements, with screams and bites ... and finally, his wife fainted.
After about 30 minutes, when she returned, her husband said:
You were perfect today, even when we were young we did not love so well ...
Yes, dear ... but no fence was not electrified when we were young!!

[emmasweet]

A blonde comes from the produced and take the shortcut through a cemetery
There's a vampire and says: I'm a vampire and suck blood!
Blonde goes
Vampire and harder: I'm a vampire and suck blood!
-I suck dicks ... but I brag to all losers!!

[emmasweet]

10 people, guys and girls, decide to leave the mountains. Once there, you get the idea to do an orgy. Gather in a room, turn off the lights and begin. After half an hour, one emerges from that many crowd, light a candle and say: - Oh, let's organize, as it 3rd time when giving blowjobs......

[emmasweet]

- Father, last night I had sex with seven women. - And do not regret that you have sinned? - No way, I'm not a believer. - And then you come to me? - Well, I had to brag to someone, right?

[MrNiceGuy2010]

My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that when I am in a good mood it turns green and when I am in a bad mood it leaves a big fucking red mark on her forehead.

Sorry ladies

[Dirty Harry]

i use to sniff brake fluid but then i stopped

[Franken996]

A hungry but penniless bloke walks into a seedy cafe in Glasgow. He sits at the counter and notices

Jock with his arms folded staring blankly at a bowl of chilli. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there

staring at it, the hungry bloke bravely asks,"If you aren't going to eat that, mind if I do?" The old Jock

slowly turns his head toward the young bloke and says, "Aye, ye can gae right aheid." Eagerly, the young

bloke reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chilli.

The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chilli back into the bowl.



The old Jock says, "Aye, that's as far as I got too."