Joke of the day

[Dirty Harry]

a little boy asks his gran nana can i play with your nipples? The granny says sure young man but don't go too far away.

[Dirty Harry]

i was walking around tesco for about an hour with an empty basket when the security guard asked are you looking for something in particular? I said yeah my pet rat have you seen it?

[Dirty Harry]

i was going to send you on a joke about a garbage truck but it was a load of rubbish

[Dirty Harry]

i got a rough wank off my muslim girlfriend last night i've nicknamed her the terror wrist.

[Dirty Harry]

a man walks into a pub and asks for a strong gust of wind the bar man says sorry we only serve draught!

[Dirty Harry]

my mate rang me earlier and asked what are you doing at the moment? I replied failing my fucking driving test!

[Dirty Harry]

i got a job as a bounty hunter in china couldn't believe my luck everytime they put up a wanted poster the guy they were after was standing right next to me!

[Dirty Harry]

don't believe all the hype about carlsberg.i found a can on a wall earlier and it tasted like piss

[Dirty Harry]

i was in tesco the other day and recognised a guy off crimewatch who is wanted for numerous rapes so i tackled him to the floor and beat him unconscious. The cops landed and arrested me! Apparently they use actors on that show

[Dirty Harry]

paul mc cartney is pissed off with the new misses already she's been spending twice as much on shoes as the last ones