Joke of the day

[whiteball]

At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent
an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.
While the IRS agent was checking the books, he
turned the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice
you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with
the end of the roll when there's too little left to be
of any use?"
"Good question," Noted the CFO. "We save them
up and send them back to the bandage company
and every once in a while, they send us a free roll."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed
that his unusual question had practical answer. But
on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all
these plaster purchases. What do you do with what's
left over after setting a cast on a patient?"
"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector
was trying to trap him with unanswerable. "We save it
and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often
they will send us a free bag of plaster."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he
could fluster the know-it-all CFO.
"Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the remains
from the circumcision surgeries?"
"Here, too, we do not waste and send them to the IRS
office, and about once a year they send us a complete
prick."

[whiteball]

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman
on a flight to London.
After the plane took off, drink orders were
taken. The Irishman asked for whiskey which,
he was immediately served.
The flight attendant then asked the Mormon
if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust,
"I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores
than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman handed his drink back to the attendant
and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."

[joggon]

[whiteball]

One day, a farmer was tending his livestock
he noticed that one of his cows was completely
cross-eyed. He called up a veterinarian friend
of his who told him to bring in his cow.
The vet took one look at the cow, stuck a tube
up the cow's butt, and blew into the tube until
the cow's eyes straighten out.
The vet charged the farmer a hundred bucks,
and the farmer went home happy.
About a week later, the cow's eyes were cross-
eyed again, but this time the farmer figured he
could probably take care of it himself. So, he
called his hired hand over, and together they
put a tube up the cow's butt.
The farmer put his lips to the tube and started
to blow. Strangely, nothing happened, so he
asked his hired hand to give it a try.
The hired hand removed the tube, turned it around,
put it in the cow's butt and started to blow.
"What are you doing?" asked the farmer horrified.
"Well, I wasn't gonna use the side that you had
used your lips on."

[joggon]

[joggon]

4 Tory leaders and 4 Tory governments in the last 6 years.

[joggon]

Ferret Fella @Ferretgrove
13h
Poor Boris Johnson, he couldn’t even hold his position as the worst Prime Minster ever

[joggon]

..................deleted post .........................

[whiteball]

Fellow shows up at work Monday morning
with two black eyes. His boss figuring the
guy got in a fight at a bar asks him,
"Where'd you get the Shinners?"
"Got'em both in church yesterday."
"In church!?! How in the world did you
manage to get two black eyes in church?"
"Well, the preacher called a hymn and as
we all stood to sing, I noticed the lady
standing in front of me. Her dress was shuck
in the crack of her ass, so I reached out and
pulled it out for her. She turned around and
slugged me in the right eye."
"Well, how'd you get the other one?"
"Well, I figured if she got that mad from me
pulling the dress out of the crack of her ass,
I'd better put it back."

[joggon]