Joke of the day

[whiteball]

For a weekend break, three old collage buddies
go down to Tijuanna, Mexico to enjoy a reunion.
Well, they hadn't seen each other for quite a few
years so the stories were long, the laughs were
loud and the booze did flow that night.
They had such a good time, they all woke up the
following morning and found themselves in jail.
None of them could remember anything.
However, within a couple of hours, they're all
sentenced to be executed the following day.
The following morning they're all escorted to death
row, where Bill, the first of the group is strapped into
the electric chair. Bill's asked if he'd like to say any
words.
"Sure," Bill responds. "I'm from the Catholic university
of America and I believe in the power of almighty God.
I am innocent and God will intervene."
The executioner throws the switch but nothing happens.
Well, the prison staff can't believe this turn of events.
they beg Bill's forgiveness and release him.
Next up for the chair is Gary. He's strapped in and once
again he's offered the opportunity to say something.
"Well, I'm from Harvard law school," says Gary, "and I
believe that the power of natural justice will intervene
because I'm innocent."
Once again, the executioner throws the switch but noting
happens. Again the prison staff can't believe this turn of
events. They beg Gary's forgiveness and release him.
Finally, Mike is strapped into the chair and once again he's
offer the opportunity to say something.
"Well," says Mike, "I have a PHD in Electrical Engineering
from Massachusetts Institute of technology and I can tell
you now, you won't be executing anyone if you don't plug
this thing in."

[whiteball]

The Indians on a remote reservation in Oklahoma asked their new chief
if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a chief in modern society, he had never taught the old secrets.
When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be
like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe aide, he told his tribe that the winter was
indeed, going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect
firewood to be prepared.
But being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to
the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the
coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the
weather service responded.
So, the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more
firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still
look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man at the National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to
be a very cold winter."
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every
scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are
you absolutely sure that this winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to
be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen."
"How can you be so sure?" the chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting a shitload of firewood."

[joggon]

[joggon]

"Finish him off later, the photographer's here now."

[robbie9]

"Finish him off later, the photographer's here now."

Good man mikki !!

[joggon]

[joggon]

Politics explained

[joggon]

[joggon]

The only reason why the Pyramids exist in Egypt is because they were too heavy for British folks to steal and put in the British museum.

[WeeJimmy]

I really pigged out last Christmas
I ate food so aggressively that my Fitbit thought that I was exercising.