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Thread: Joke of the day

  1. #1981
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    A little girl picks up the phone.
    “Hello?”
    “Hi, honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?” Daddy asks.
    “No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”
    After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But, honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”
    “Oh, yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.”
    Dad takes a second to process this, then speaks. “Uh, OK, then this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”
    A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did it, Daddy!”
    “And what happened, honey?” he asked.
    “Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”
    “Oh my God! What about your Uncle Paul?”
    “He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.”
    A long, silent pause.
    Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool? … Is this 486-5731?”
    " Thankful for those thankful for the things I did "

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  3. #1982
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    A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone.
    She approached him, smiled and said, “Hello. My name is Carmen.”
    “That’s a beautiful name,” he replied. “Is it a family name?”
    “No,” she replied. “As a matter of fact, I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most – cars and men. Therefore, I chose ‘Carmen.’”
    “Is that so?” the man asked, highly amused.
    “It is,” she nodded, then asked, “What’s your name?”
    Without missing a beat, he answered, “B. J. Titsengolf.”
    " Thankful for those thankful for the things I did "

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  5. #1983
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    lmao from twitter



    emotional $hawty@notyoshawtyFollowFollow
    @notyoshawty

    More




    guys are all for anal until i pull out my strap???? how fake

    4:48 PM - 19 Dec 2018



    4:48 PM - 19 Dec 2018
    Last edited by joggon; 21-12-18 at 00:14.
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  7. #1984
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    Other opinions are allowed
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  9. #1985
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    Other opinions are allowed
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  11. #1986
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    True Story
    Last edited by joggon; 28-12-18 at 00:29.
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  13. #1987

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    Apparently the local parish priest was arrested at the local shop for masturbating while looking at the top shelf magazines. It was ALL OVER THE NEWSPAPERS

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  15. #1988
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  17. #1989
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  19. #1990
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    I hired a woman to clean my home, but it seems to have taken her 4 hours to hoover the floor.
    It was only after, that I found out that she is a Slovak...
    Last edited by Floki; 10-01-19 at 12:21.

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