Last edited by FranknStein; 15-12-18 at 20:30.
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FIRST CHRISTMAS JOKE
3 men die on Xmas eve, to get into heaven St Peter says “you must have something on you that represents Xmas”
The Englishman flicks on his lighter and says “it’s a candle”, St Peter lets him pass.
The Welsh man jingles his keys and says “they’re sleigh bells”, St Peter lets him pass,
The Irish man pulls out a G String and bra, St Peter says “how the flip do they represent Xmas?”… Paddy says “they’re Carols”…
Last edited by emmasweet; 01-12-19 at 10:32.
Barney Rubble (01-12-19), beautyaddict (01-12-19), simplesimon (04-12-19),Stephanie (18-09-21)
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Santa Pick Up Lines Jokes
10. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
9. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?
8. I've got something special in the sack for you
7. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
6. I know when you've been bad or good--so let's skip the small talk, sister!
5. Some of my best toys run on batteries...
4. Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that`s what the Mrs. calls it)
3. I see you when you're sleeping--and you don't wear any underwear, do you?
2. Screw the "nice" list--I've got you on my "naughty" list!
1. Wanna join the "Mile High" club?
Last edited by emmasweet; 01-12-19 at 10:47.
simplesimon (04-12-19)
:-)
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Sex is like snow ... never know how long will it take and how many inches will reach.
A precocious 10 year old walked into a bar and yelled to the waitress to bring him a Scotch on the rocks.
"What do you want to do?" asked the waitress, "Get me into trouble?"
"Maybe later" replied the young lad, "but, right now, I'd like that drink"
Sex is like snow ... never know how long will it take and how many inches will reach.
ORDINARYJOE (16-12-19), simplesimon (18-12-19)
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What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper!
Why is Christmas just like your job?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist?
He no longer believed in himself.
2bornot2b (18-09-21), ORDINARYJOE (16-12-19), simplesimon (18-12-19)
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